Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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Just when you think you've healed...

JessicaChase
JessicaChase
Doesn't it just suck when you have done so much work on processing haunting memories and you find a moment of peace, but that is what it is a moment!

Years I've been on a road of working on childhood sexual abuse and SRA. Just recently I finally have made them what they are... the past. Unfortunately, these past few days I've run into a bump in the road. I got lost in a memory and with my DID I switched into the nightmare. I just wanted to cut to divert the pain. All the coping skills used these past few months seemed to have disappeared from my memory. Therefore, I could be writing this in any support group...PTSD, SI, MPD...does not matter.

Calling my therapist for help she reminded me that these memories are in the past and they cannot harm me today. In that I had to change my focus. Looking to the comfort of the Lord. I find solace and understanding in what the Lord would have done in that moment and the tears that would flow from His heart regarding the evil acts of mankind and their free will gone mad. I, once again, hand over my memory to Him.

So, here I find myself back at the beginning process just when I thought I was healed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think we ever totally "heal" from all of this, but we do get better and it sounds like you are doing exactly that. Something similar happened to me. I was having so many flashbacks-all the time and it was horrible, then for a variety of reasons, the amount of flashbacks reduced and became less and less and I was so happy. I thought they were going away for good. I was functioning at such a higher level and I felt OK. Then today, I had a flashback-just when i thought they were going to go away. But the good thing is that I coped with it, I got through it in a much better way than I could have done a year ago. I think we never totally heal but we learn to cope and still function, if that makes sense...
RichieD
RichieD
That makes perfect sense to me, HBE. I've been thinking that for a while now...I don't seem to be healing, so much as learning to cope more effectively.

I'll settle for anything that works.
CrazyCanuk
CrazyCanuk
Recovering from PTSD has been the most diffiucult thing I have ever had to do for this very reason. It is frustrating, robs you of your enjoyment, family and friends. It reminds you daily of who you once were and who you are not anymore. You work so hard and some little thing sets you right back to square one again! Sometime I wonder why I am fighting this so hard? Is it worth it? My frustration causes me to often think about just ending things, but then comes that moment of happiness, joy, excitement and it keeps me going. It keeps me fighting this monster call PTSD. I live for those moments and I am thankful for each of them. Thankful the moments keep coming and that little by little I am getting better and it takes less time to get back to where I was before I was sent back to "go".
arfie
arfie
No, Jessica, you are not back at the beginning, however much it may feel like it. You have experience and coping tools you did not have back then. Use them. Now.

Success is the art of getting up once more than you have fallen.

Get up, friend. You can do this.
TwilightStar
TwilightStar
I dont think you are back at the beginning, it sounds like youve gotten knocked over by a flashback. You need some reminders of the different coping skills that you've learned, we all do from time to time.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You're not back at the beginning. This happens to all of us. I know I can do very well for a long time, and then BAM! I'll have a nightmare or see something that will trigger some memories, and then I feel like I'm back where I used to be. The good news is that it doesn't take me as long as it used to to climb out of that hole. I've got my support network and my coping skills and I can get back up on my own now. I usually give myself a day or two to wallow, because I firmly believe that sometimes you just need that, and then I get back on with my life. I agree with HBE - we never truly "heal" - these things will always be with us. But we can get a lot better and learn all sorts of ways to cope. You're doing great and working hard.
JessicaChase
JessicaChase
I want to thank everyone for your truthful and encouraging words! Yae,! I am not alone and now I know from your testimonies that it will pass and we now have better coping mechinisms to do it. It blew my mind at first because it was back! Lost a couple of hours in my closet :( But I'm here now and I am safe and I have you all to lift me up when I fall! Big Thank you!
arfie
arfie
YAY US!!!

Sometimes it works!

The rising of one is the rising of us all!
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