Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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just let me vent ........

Tawny26
Tawny26
i hate sleep. my dreams haunt me still and i hate it so much. for the past few nites i have these drems where he got out of jail and hes pissed at me, for turning him in. threantens my life. ooooo. i wish i could how i detest him. jerk. i can still remeber different things that went on. ill never forget. how could he ? he lied he broke my trust in anyone and i hate him oooo so much i wsih i could tell him how i truly dont like him. i wish i coul have some how known and i would have never let it as afr as it did, but i had no clue, i thought he was someone i could trust, no not at all. he said he loved me really ? when do u hit someone and leave brusises on someone you love ? he would constastly twsit things and make them out as if it was all my fault. i just want to seriously tell him off im so angry i dont know if this anger will go away. i just want to punch him in his freakin face. it hurts so much knowing myself im seriously tryin so hard to , and he is some where he never gets reminded of it. i bet he never has bad dreams about me. when i said no i bet those where dont stand out to him. like they do to me.hell live like it never happen i cant say im shocked really.i know im a stronger person, but i dont who i am before i was kinda sure of myself not anymore, i really have my days, i feel at the end of my rope.i want him gone for good .
deleted_user
deleted_user
this is exactly what i wish i could do to my abusers, but then i realize it would only do more harm then good. take some deep breaths, say a prayer to God to help take these bad dreams and thoughts away, and be sure to talk to ur therapist. u are in my prayers
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's really clear just how much pain you're in. I don't know how long ago he violated you but I know it seems like it takes forever to heal from it. It's so much harder to cope if you can't sleep. I'm so sorry it's so hard for you. The anger is absolutely justified. It has helped me tremdously to write in a journal about it. It helps sort out your feelings and let you become more aware of what you are feeling. It's also a good outlet for anger. You can write about just how intensely pissed off you are and you can do it as much as you need to, even if you say the same things over and over. It's just good to express your feelings in a safe enviornment. I also find art a good outlet for anger. Draw/color pictures or write poems. You can post them on your journal on DS and share it with others. A whole lot of us are pissed off, not just you. You are not alone. I hope you get some sleep and find some moments of peace.
deleted_user
deleted_user
This just sounds like, but "sounds like" you are really angry with yourself mostly... but really only sounds like.

RICHARD
PTSDwidow
PTSDwidow
Really expressing your rage can help reduce it an the nightmares. When you wake up from the nightmare, trying screaming your rage into your pillow. Turn on the radio or TV to muffle the noise. When you are up an around you can kneal by a bed or sofa and beat on the cushions, mattress or pillows and scream out how angry you are and say all the things you might be afraid to say to his face. If you feel the anger in you legs you can put a mattress or a bundle of blankets and quilts against a firm surface and kick them while verbally expressing your feelings. You may have to do this a number of times before the negative charge is reduced in your brain. Good luck, let me know if you try this and how it feels to you.

It may cheer you to know that unless he is really big and strong, being in prison will probably subject him to abuse.
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