Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I’m unsure if I was raped. I stay over at my best friends house a lot due to problems at home and I’m close with all of her family members and siblings and I love them very much. I sometimes sleep in in my best friends room, sometimes her younger sisters, and sometimes her younger brother. Me and her younger brother play games and get along well but he is known to be a bit of a f*ckboy and he gets along very well with girls and does a lot of stuff with them. He also used to try to do things with me too. I fell asleep next to him one night and woke up to him lowering my underwear and attempting to put his private part in me. I was confused and I froze. I didn’t know what to do and felt helpless so I just tried to shuffle and move away like I’m still sleeping. This helped with making sure he didn’t stay inside of me but he finished on my back area and that’s when I got really angry and got up. I looked at what he did and told him it’s wrong and that I’m really upset and that if he does something like this again I will tell his parents. He didn’t seem sorry at all as he has a mindset that everyone wants him and likes him and wants to be with him. I went back to my best friends room to sleep and I really didn’t want to say anything about it to her in the morning because I don’t want to cause any problems within their family since the son already makes so much trouble for them to deal with. After that night I stopped spending nights in their house because I felt unsafe and I feel so bad because I gave no explanation to my best friend. Another problem is that I’m 18 and he’s 16 and I know if it was the other way around where I did things with him I would be a sexual offender. I also know that it’s automatically rape if someone is doing things with someone who is sleeping (unless you are dating and agreed it’s okay sometimes). I think he thought it’s okay because I’m close with him along with all the other family members but I hate it.
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... observed a solar eclipse.
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Mornings or Nights?*You can’t say both (or neither), or add stipulations, or make substitutions- just commit and pick one of the two choices!
Second, not causing trouble.... I never had the option in my day. My dad believed in beating up daughters who got raped, b/c we would've deserved it, so I never told my parents what happened to me. I sewed up my torn shorts and moved on like a robot. .... So my perspective is, if the family already knows this boy is trouble-making? They need to know he is a *predator*. He may "only" be 16, but my rapist was 17, same as me, and was a predator all the same. You don't have to go to the cops. Just let your best friend know ------ if they don't already suspect? ----- and the parents IF you feel okay about that.
Because every time we don't make trouble, the trouble goes on to hurt others, and it sounds like this f*ckboy needs *help*. Serious help. He committed a sex crime. The fact he's 16 and you're 18 and didn't punch his lights out doesn't change that, IMHO.
so, third, go find a good peer support group for survivors of sexual assault, okay? That saved my *life*. No joke. People of all ages and types sharing their pain, fears, knowing we'r e not alone and CAN be angry/sad/etc. with supportive people around? I found it valuable.
And if he thinks it's okay with you b/c you're "like family".... What is he doing to the family? ....
FINALLY: If you prefer to leave it here on DS PTSD, then that's fine, too. let it out here. HERE is safe. I've been on DS PTSD for eigh tyears, and without it, I would feel so much more lost.
The way he is treating females is really disturbing.... You don't have to protect him when he isn't worried about his behaviour
I am so sorry for what's brought you here but glad that you've found us.... Big hug....xo
Also, I think you've gotten some really good advice from others, especially the parts about a peer support group and counseling.
Hugs and thoughts of support on your journey through this.