Hello to my fellow DS members, especially those pertaining to the PTSD group.

I am in a major dilemma. I need your word of input and feedback. This is regards to my brother.

To all those who have known me since membership, you have followed me through the court process, the purification of the soul it did to me, and afterwards, what I have done to come to where I am today. I am humbled to be a part of this wonderful group of people and you are all a major factor in my healing journey.

Here is the dilemma: my brother, whose had a history of mental illness, bipolar. He has been self-medicating through alcohol and drugs. He has extreme highs and lows and is very unpredictable in his behavior, which lends itself to be mostly aggressive and loud at times. I am not excusing his illness for his lack of clarity and control, but I see the perspective mental health can take in this given situation. He basically asked for my help. There I said it, HE asked for my direction and forward thinking solutions.

Here is where I am shaking inside because here is this human being, who caused a major portion of pain and heartache to my life and others, asking for my help and guidance. This is where the heart of a believer and follower of Christ is tested: human justice v. mercy?

Do I let the memories of the past blind me in the pain and tragedy of it all or do I somehow dig deep and use resources that have been passed down to me and practiced with success? Do I let the memories stop me? Better question is: how far should the human heart extend itself before it being burned by manipulation and lies? Jesus was human. He endured many worse pains and tribulations on this Earth. The only difference is that he did not sin whatsoever. Here, the sins of my brother are right in front of me and I have learned somehow to be humbled and remain committed in teaching something called compassion and mercy yet firm and strong. How is that possible?

Suicidal thoughts ran through my mind when he asked me for my help. I only remembered the worst of him at that moment. He remembered how much strength and grit I have gained over the years and have not let the world break me down. Irony of life.

Here I remember something so fundamentally true yet still hard to practice for many: do not combat evil with evil, but combat evil with goodness.God uses those who are low to humble the proud and keep them honest. This can not be any more true.