I've got 2 more years until tenure at the ripe age of 58. I was laid off 3 years ago after working for a year at a college that had budget problems due to the 2008 recession. So until tenure guarantees me work, I'm on a year to year contract. That means that in the summer I apply to other jobs just for "insurance" in case last hired first fired happens to me again.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to get to stay teaching at the college where I am 2014-2015. Still, on Wednesday I have to follow through with one of my other applications at another college. I'm trying to get myself in an interview frame of mind. Interviews usually bring up self-esteem issues for me and I don't sell myself as well as I might. I have to tell myself it's just nice being chosen for an interview in the first place and be grateful rather than intimidated.

Part of me, though, resents that I have had such ups and downs with PTSD in my career that now here I am doing this at my age when most people who are interviewing are 30 years old or so.

I don't want to carry that resentment into the interview with me. Just the kind of positivity we grow here at DS PTSD. Wish me luck, please.