Tomorrow I meet with my counselor. This us the first time after a make scare for him. He's never been with me through one of my suicidal ideation fits. I'm also taking my hubz for the first time. Could be great... Could be a catastrophe!

Tizzy, I know what it's like to have good times at work (so grateful for those) but anxiety in my personal life (why can't all my ducks get in a row at once?).

Right now it's not that way for me. Pretty much good at work (yay!) and not much happening in my personal life--and I've learned to be grateful when the personal life is just boring. Because again, I've been in your situation where work's great and personal life is still scary.

Glad you're seeing your counselor and taking such a great step of taking your husband. I think that may have been a big mistake of mine in my 16 year marriage ending in divorce: I didn't include my spouse in my weekly PTSD therapy. I was happy and growing and recovering, but my spouse wasn't part of it and we grew apart. Good for you that you're giving your marriage and your therapy a chance to intersect.

Yes, I know how it feels like it could be a catastrophe, too. Fingers crossed for you.

I took my hubz today to therapy. It's funny because he knows me so well after thirteen years, but I was intensely afraid that my therapist would say something I'm not comfortable with. I've been more real worth my therapist about my weaker moments... Ie suicidal moments than my hubz. As we started he focused so much on my hubz that I started to feel let down, like I was being left out. Afterwards I felt odd. I really wanted my usual apt where I would have had the opportunity to talk about last sunday when I was suicidal, or how every day this week I wanted to cut myself. We did talk about really important stuff... How my hubz felt about ask of this, how he's been scared of what I would do next and if he was somehow unwittingly going to make things worse. I'm really glad he went, and I appreciate all that was done, but I did leave feeling bereft...