Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

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I've gotta knock it off

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd

I think I have got to cut back on being too active for the sake of my self care.  I'm glad I've powered through fatigue with only 40% kidney capacity and my own PTSD symptoms to do my full time job during the week.  But I accepted to talk about PTSD at a church today, too, and I can't work 7 days a week like that.  I worked on my talk all day yesterday Saturday and then gave the talk today Sunday, so it's been a 7 day work week now for real. 


After the talk today people asked a lot of good questions about how DS PTSD here works, what our support group is all about, all of that stuff.  For example, most thought that we'd be Iraq/Afghanistan war veterans with PTSD here, and were surprised that most of us are survivors of sexual assault.  Going by what they said to me today, most aren't aware of the number of people in society today who survive sexual assault, so it's good to answer their questions and fill them in.  It has to be done with a lot of gentle patience, though, and a smile when possible so as to represent us well against the stigma image of how cranky we PTSD folks are.  And after a while being patient and kind does take a lot of energy.


So I've got to give myself some weekends off in the next weeks.  Tomorrow I have to deal with two students I had to drop from an online course I teach since they didn't do any work in the course from Aug23rd until now.  It was necessary, but they'll lose some financial aid so they're bound to come around complaining.  I've got to be rested to be even handed with that tomorrow at my day job, so I've gotta stop this weekend extra stuff.


For all of the good I may be doing, I also I think I'm doing too much from my PTSD people pleasing in my past.  Has anybody else ever done this before, too?  How do you stop and say no and set good boundaries when you get going on a roll that's too much like this?  I'm truly not playing the martyr by asking nor am I asking in a passive aggressive way of showing off how much "great" community service I'm doing or anything.  I've gotta knock it off, so advice is welcome for real. Thanks.

DarkGypsyG
DarkGypsyG
so much good advice. i just wanted to add on one thing i do if if its ok. every so often i go on a "blackout" i give the need-to-know's a heads-up that i'm taking me time. then i take a few days where i don't answer the phone or messages or emails (i make hubby field all calls ect.). i'll even avoid social media. i just take care of me. indulge myself.

that's just one of my ways. but it is good to recognize when you need so time to slow down.

one more thought, in teaching about PTSD it might be a topic to bring up that we need to pay attention to our self-care. how it needs to be a priority. we've all been there where we pushed to hard and it wasn't pretty. just a thought.

you can do this. proud of you.
arfie
arfie
More and more I believe that all of life is a question of balance. Every yin needs its yang. When I am balancing the serious stuff, goofy is good.

Wanna make mud pies? Goofy entertainment don't come much cheaper, especially when I have somebody to throw my masterpieces at. Nanny nanny boo boo. . .
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Yeah, Jewells, it's calendar time. In July I planned Cancun in January 2017 for myself as a reward for getting through the Fall semester. You know how that is, living on the semester calendar, too. But I've got to manage weekend to weekend as you and others here say. Lying on the couch in PJ's watching Bugs Bunny sounds extremely therapeutic to me!! Silly wabbit.

Thanks, everybody, truly, for every time you give me reinforcement for learning how to manage my PTSD life in better ways for my wellbeing. Last time you all supported me when I had to cope with a slew of doctor appointments, and it did the trick to get me through them well. I'm thinking this support will, too. I appreciate the support for targeting the notion that it's important to get the calendar out and block out some Muji time.

Much support back at y'all, every one.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
The need to knock it off was confirmed last night by a bout of insomnia. Glad I already was planning, as DG put it, a "blackout" so I could decompress and rest, huh? Thanks, rest and support to all.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Whew, I had a second night of insomnia from overdoing lately again last night. But I managed to do my job by day without snapping, and it was my long day in my weekly routine. Dang. Hoping for an insomnia free night tonight now!
arfie
arfie
The more other people expect from me, the harder it is to jump the insomnia ruts. Even after the more functional expectations have been formed, my over-developed sense of responsibility follows me to bed. My over-developed sense of responsibility is not a restful bedfellow.

Continued support while you find your balance, muji. Sending hopes for peaceful rest tonight.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Yeah, arfie "over-developed sense of responsibility" is the problem well put in a nutshell. Well said. I know it's rooted in being the oldest son in a family in which the father abandoned the home to war and I as a kid had to defend the family homestead. As you know, I was raised on the mission field by parents who were trying to run from their own mental health problems back home. They were totally in over their heads for any normal challenge overseas, so in no way were they ready for what overwhelms everybody--living in a war zone.

My dad simply ran away. Most of the 6 years of combat was in our town, and in our neighborhood, in fact. So he had to be gone "on business" 28 out of 30 days a month for years. That left me as a kid to protect little sister and a mom who was freaking out popping prescription tranquilizers. I had a deal with the neighbor who had a gun. When bad guys tried to break in on us, I threw dictionaries against my mom's bedroom wall adjoining his in his duplex apartment next door. I did that one night bad guys tried to break in when not only had my dad left us alone, but my mom had, too, and we kids were alone with a teen baby sitter.

The neighbor came as called by my signal and ran them off, though they did come back and steal our car. That kind of stuff went on for years, so it helped my "over-developed sense of responsibility" become too real.

I can only imagine how the enormous challenges of surviving your childhood ordeals developed yours, arfie. I like how you talk about having a childhood now that would be more along creative, playful, and positive lines. Me, too.

I'd like to start by napping and getting good sleep. :-) Thanks for supporting me on that. You've got my support in your endeavor, too.
MillaSofia
MillaSofia
Oh, yes. You're working too much. We not only have PTSD, but physical, severe, ailments. Now, a regular person needs 2 full days off. You didn't give yourself any. I am in agreement with you that it's time to think of your own healing and take time off. Good friend, I care about you and want to see you as healthy as you can be, not as tired as you can be while still hanging on. I had been doing that. Too much. Not now. It wasn't just the hospital stay. Realization of my taking care of my own needs. So, please do. Much caring and a great big hug. Your Friend.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Milla, that's it: I'm taking the weekend OFF. Yeah! Thank you. I hope you're on the mend, too.
MillaSofia
MillaSofia
Yay you. Yes, I'm mending.
mlr0853
mlr0853
I hope you will join the kidney cancer/disease group. My best to you and your kidney :-) Take care, ML
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
I used to book my time the same way I booked other responsibilities back in my busy days and I really needed to if I wanted time completely for me.. It did me good... There's nothing wrong with saying no muji... No can be every bit as important as yes... I used to get every third weekend off from me fulltime job and that weekend was always for me and what I wanted to do or not do... Sometimes I did do a volunteer shift on that weekend however I always then worked with a pal who I went out to dinner with first... Sometimes I would just kick back and have a 'readfest'.... You are so busy sweetie... It might do you well to book your off time... Be good to you... You deserve it and we want you to be well.... big hug....x
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Thanks for the details of how you did it, SunCloud. I need to structure my time that way, too, so I don't burn out. Starting with this weekend. A "readfest" sounds good, or maybe a Netflix binge-fest watching come goofy show just to unwind. Much gratitude to you for supporting me about it and also showing me how you did it.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
It is so important to put down "me" time in the schedule. I am glad you're doing that. Saying "no" is also saying "yes" to your well-being, which is necessary in order to be able to do what you do, and keep on being within normal range. When it comes to choices and consequences, your students have learned a valuable lesson in rules for staying funded. It happens far more than people realize. Best wishes!
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