im just ugh i feel fine lately, i mean i have my days but noone is freakin prefect. i dont really see a point of going to soemone who has ingored the real issuse for almost a year, how in the world is that helping me?i have been helping myself i know rape is a huge deal but honestly why do i need to go to someone who doesnt help me with that, it makes me angry.my consulor found the number for the place and she told me she would call them and see about getting me in tho talk to them as well that was about 3 months ago. i hate having to remind people shit espeically when its something so big, i have number but everytime on the call they say thank you for call sexual assualt center i start to freak out and the tears come, id pay someone to call for me. but it boils down that my consuler is a waste of my presicous time, what am i suppos to say so today i woke up? im just over it i dont wanna talk about all thais crap, i dont feel the need to talk about it, like the way he treated me and other things that went on like im just over that, i think i need to handle the rape caue i wish to not be alone forever. i would to be able to put this all behinde me but to that i have to talk about it and work through it, i was a bit nervous to go yesterday but i couldnt i had to work late so i had to cancel i knew if i did go i would end up going off on her. tell me you understand me one more time, i have come along way im soo proud of myself i dont want to be angry forever but yea im i still hate the fact it happened i wish i could take it all back, but i cant so have to heal in the process, i thing its normal to be angry, if not ooops my bad lol. i have friends but i have noticed that dont like it when i talk about it, so i dont plus theres just a time when you wake after it all, i was like i hate this but it wont ruin my life. i have to pick up the pieces one day at time and thats what im trying to do, cry when i need to cry, laugh when i need to laugh pretty much what im doing now :)