Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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I need to go back

reddestiny37
reddestiny37

I left him I didn’t even say goodbye I shouldn’t have been with him in the first place but he was so sweet. So nice. He gave me so much. I need him back, but I can’t. I’m petrified. It’s illegal but I need him. I cut. It makes everything better for a while... not long enough. I need him it’s the only way to make it better but it’ll make it worse. I wish I never responded to him when he said hi. I wish I knew how to forget. I have ptsd because of him. No, me. I did it to him. I did it to myself. I did it to us. It hurts so bad. I quit my job because I was scared of what would happen if he came. I can’t be in a room by myself. I have severe anxiety. Anxiety attacks. Panic attacks at random. Depression. I NEED him back. I’m dying. My brain is tearin itself apart I can feel it I need help I hate therapists I need somebody. Please. Please someone. Anybody. Tell me what to do. I’m begging I need help please answer me, anybody. Make it better it hurts so much... please help  I’m begging anyone please. Please. Just make it stop hurting.

arfie
arfie
Hello Reddestiny. Welcome to the forum.

I'm still looking for the "Stop" button on my own hurts, but right here is one of the places I have found to help me feel a little less alone while I find ways to manage those hurts and the many side effects that come with psychic pain.

Welcome aboard. Gentle support while you find your own way through.
Barnabas2017
Barnabas2017
Beloved you say you hate therapists, please don't go through this alone. Is there one friend or one family member who can just listen to what's on your heart? Is there anyone you trust to call right now or meet with you someplace safe and someplace where you don't feel threatened or judged? You're saying please...I'm saying please also. Do not go through this alone when there are people who love you and want to help. To begin the help and healing, they have to know where to start. I hope you reach out and someone near to you a chance to share in your pain and offer support and resources to assist in bringing you through this difficult time in your life. You matter to many and I'm deeply concerned for you also! HOPE is available.
Barnabas2017
Barnabas2017
Stopping by hoping you're okay. You're on my heart today!
CaroliziesMamma
CaroliziesMamma
Hi Red! Sorry you’re hurting. Have you tried a local support group? I went to one near my house for an entire month before I said anything to anyone and just being there was wonderful. Celebrate Recovery is my choice but there are so many out there. Google and find one near you. Go. I was anxious and alone when I walked in but so so glad I went.
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
i'm not sure if red's been back, are you here?
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
oh, good! i see you have been back xo
reddestiny37
reddestiny37
Sorry if I don’t respond, I get really socially anxious even online sometimes. I do rad all your comments and thank you guys it means so much
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
When I was in a crisis overseas in the midst of a breakdown in a divorce going to Alanon meetings got me through, red. Any port in a storm, as they say. Alanon got me here, eventually. There are Alanon meetings everywhere and they're free. I know it may sound like a bad fit, since its
counterpart is AA, but in Alanon I learned about codependency, which sounds like it might be something similar to what you're struggling with about going back or not. Much support to you.
LillyPotter
LillyPotter
((( gentle hugs ))) i read all that you wrote and i feel so much for you.

at 14 you are young to be making huge decisions like this. i hope we can comfort you and carefully befriend you here, encourage you to find a safe adult to talk to who you can share with maybe.

we are here as well xo
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