That is awful Kyla. I am so sorry. It is totally unfair for people to expect you to be over it.

But I am sorry to hear that therapy has not helped at all. Maybe you need to change therapists. Is that a possibility?

This website may help some: https://www.myptsd.com/c/threads/revision-of-walkers-13-steps-of-flashback-management.58697/

What happens is there's an unsolved situation inside your mind, and your mind is trying to solve it over and over, to reassure the "hurt you", who got fragmented from the "main you" during the assault, that it will never happen again, and that you're protected.

You will keep running in this loop like a hamster in a wheel, it will cripple and ruin your life, unless you find a martial art you like, and start practicing it. I speak from my own experience with PTSD.

Hi Kyla, I am so so sorry and am sending you a comforting hug right now...I understand about sexual assault and PTSD, and I can relate to sometimes seeing others faces at times in the flashbacks and dreams-even very safe people, which makes it such a false feeling of betrayal. I think these feelings and responses are somewhat normal with trauma, although the process is horrific and scary. I guess number one: do you have any meds (I don't mean these need to be long term) to help you over this emotional hurdle? Perhaps just a simple tranquilizer or anti-anxiety to help you sleep a bit? Also, anti-depressants actually seemed to increase my fear/restlessness and nightmares, but it is different for everyone...so essentially looking at any meds you may or not be taking might help a bit. Secondarily, do you have anyone you can call in the midst of the panic attacks, such as friends, or even just a crisis line, so you don't feel so alone? I kept my lights on for a long time after my trauma and played the T.V. until I fell asleep. I could not calm down enough to read as I usually had, and sometimes I would just pace back and forth with the shows on until I finally collapsed on the couch and slept from sheer exhaustion, I know its really rough and my heart goes out to you...I hope you find some relief soon, and that you can realize that people that say "get over it" have not walked your road and lived your fear, but there are those of us on here who have, and we care...:) Much love...

Thanks, I wish that I had done something or even just stayed home, before I left I felt like something was going to happen I wish I had listened. Your suport and advice means a lot.

My own shrinks call that, "Hyper-vigilance." Vigilance is a normal part of a healthy human instinct. There are very real dangers in the world and our survival depends on being able to spot them before they strike. With unresolved trauma, normal, healthy vigilance goes hyper and we begin to see threats where there are none. They begin to escalate to full delusional paranoia.

I calm my own hyper-vigilance with "Threat Assessments." They validate my instinctive vigilance while monitoring the "hyper" aspect. When I begin to feel threatened, I check my immediate surroundings for signs of clear and present danger. If I find none, I begin therapy exercises, starting with deep, calming breaths and working my way through my psychotherapy toolbox, as needed. It takes what it takes.

I've been working this particular method for allot of years and it has gotten easier, but only easier. Those survival instincts are as hard-wired as any aspect of humanity. Biologists theorize they are a critical aspect of our most primal instincts, second only to our need for nourishment.

Hi Kyla,
Forgiveness is an important part of the healing process. As hard as it maybe you have to forgive the offender not for him but for you. When we don't forgive it keeps us lock-up while the offender goes free and lives their life. You may even want to get a stuffed animal to represent the offender and tell him all of the things that you feel and that as of today you take your life back and that you will no longer walk in fear because of what he did to you.

Sometimes it is easy for people to say you should be over it by now or you still dealing with that. But the truth is God knows when you will come out of this or get over it. I have experienced molestation as well as date rape. In order for me to live I had to forgive those people (some were family members). I was 27 when I told my mother of the molestation and I was 30 when I told my father. I even had to forgive them for not protecting me. If you need to get another therapist then do that as well as find a support group for rape survivors.
flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks by the authority that I have in Jesus Christ, I forbid you from tormenting Kyla and I command you to return to your sender. You will not rob her of her sleep, she shall sleep in peace. I declare Psalms 91 over Kyla now in Jesus name. Kyla when you get ready to go to sleep either read out loud Psalms 91 or play it. Youtube has healing music that you can listen to, to help you. Be encouraged.