.....my best friend called me about a week ago crying. I couldn't understand what was wrong. He was mumbling and just sounded bad. I stole my mom's phone, called his boyfriend and the two of us tried to find out where he was. I was still on the phone with him when we figured out where he was. His boyfriend rushed to go get him. My friend (for the sake of his privacy) Luis had gone missing for about two days according to his boyfriend (Mike. Obvs fake name for obvs reasons) so Mike picked him up...god he looked awful. Luis had deep gashes around his wrists and ankles, showing he was tied down. He had blood caked around his mouth. His eye was swollen. He was mumbling about people. Saying their names. Mike called the police and they came over. I was completely helpless seeing as I'm in the US and they're in Canada. The best I can do is call my friends and see how they're doing. Anyway. The police did a thorough exam of Luis...Luis was raped. And according to the DNA tests found....in him, he was raped by an older man. When Mike told me that I just lost it. I've seen my best friend in some pretty bad states, but this is by far the worst state ive seen him in. I was always able to help him out....I couldn't in this one. He has hardly said a word to anyone. He just sits in his apartment at home. I wish I could fly out to Canada and just comfort him. I've been in his position before. I know he feels absolutely broken. The two are already in therapy from when they saw the terrorist attack in Toronto. They were walking across the street when it happened. 

I've been best friends with this man since I was 10 and he was 11. I knew him when he was learning English because his family was moving to the Americas. Whenever he was scared I was able to calm him down....but I can't in this one. I don't know how to comfort him. We didn't even know he disappeared. (He has a habit of ceasing contact for 2-3 days after he and Mike have an argument. They had an argument the day before he disappeared. We figured it was normal) I don't want him to blame us for not searching. I don't know what to do. Worrying about him has triggered my past and I feel like the broken little girl that I was almost 10 years ago when my brother raped me. The broken girl I was 2 years ago when my ex forced me to suck him off, making my mouth bleed and hurt for two weeks. 

The same man who punched a guy for touching my chest inappropriately was touched inappropriately for two days and I didn't even know. I feel like I failed as his best friend....I'm just worried. I wish...I wish he had something to distract himself from those two days.

Shu-