he had a heart attack at age 38 so I had enough warning. He played it down so much that I actually believed he would be ok. Bless him. The year before he died I saw the family for what it was, disordered mom, perfectionist sister that I wouldn't ever be good enough for, my poor scapegoated brother. I brought it all to life and called everyone out. My dad said he couldn't continue a relationship with me if I wasn't ok with my mom. I wasn't ok then I'm struggling now. I said if that the line you're drawing in the sand then that is his choice. He died. Heart problems don't handle stress well.  He died. I was so selfish and figured my revelations were important. I want him back! I wish I didn't stress him out, heart problems can't handle stress. I'm so selfish.