Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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DanceStrong 12/21/2016

A week and a half ago I hurt my foot in ballet class. It still hurt after a week so today I had a doctor's appointment and learned that I have tendonitus in my right foot. I have to wear a brace and I can't dance for 4 weeks. I can't dance for 4 weeks!!!

It sounds so menial, like a small fix. Like if I'm patient It will get better. But I can't. I Just can't right now.

Dance is my life. It is my everything. It is my safe haven, my solution to a bad day, the place I go when I'm upset or when I need to work some emotions out. When I struggle with PTSD issues, I don't always talk them out, I don't take drugs, I don't do extra therapy, I dance. I started dancing after my Trauma, before I was even diagnosed with PTSD. Dance has always been a vital coping mechanism. It has always been a part of my PTSD treatment. It was my one fail-safe, magical place where anything was possible. It has even given me a small community and some new friends in a time where I'm unemployed, mostly home alone, and most of my closest friends are far away.

I don't know what I will do without dance for a month. I don't know if I can do it. How can I do this?? I know I will be tempted to dance when good music comes on, and that putting pressure on my foot like that will only make things worse and slow the recovery time.

My therapist and parents suggested yoga. That could work for the short term. I like yoga, but it isn't the same as dancing for me. There is a rational solution and options, but tonight I don't care about rational things. I'm emotional. I'm really sad and tearful. ( I haven't cried like this since this summer.) I feel lost, so lost, knowing I'm not allowed to dance for four whole weeks. I'm a mess, and I don't know where else to turn. Don't tell me it will be alright. We all get through somehow, but I just can't get over this loss right now.

Oh Yeah, and just having to coddle a bad ankle for a week has brought up new emotions and memories I haven't had to face for years. So it's not a worry of if the PTSD gets big and I can't dance it out... It's when the PTSD gets big. How do I cope then, without dance??

AM6300 12/22/2016

I definitely understand. I had the same thing happen with me in cheerleading, and honestly, if you push it, it'll either take longer to heal, or never heal. I found that running through choreography in my mind helped a lot. I listened to a lot of new music, and tried to picture the routines in my head as to how I could work on them when I was better. It wasn't the best, but It was the only way I could keep my creativity going about something that i loved. Maybe give it a try? Best of luck xo

arfie 12/22/2016

Not trivial in my book, Dance. Music would be my most cathartic expression. Has been since before I can remember. I literally see music as my first language. Each evolution of my music from the first language of my childhood to the instrument therapy I practice today has been painful. I feel like I am made of sand when I can't sing my daily song, whatever the reason. The cliche which helped me survive those many painful evolutions has been:

"When one door closes, another door opens. If you spend your time staring at the door that is closed, you will miss the door which is open."

It didn't make the pain of the loss any easier to live with, but it helped me turn the pain of loss into growing pains with very satisfying gains to comfort me. I call my current evolution, "Guit-chi." It gives me all the therapy benefits and even a 62 year old with arthritis in her hands can do it. I am quite proud of it and believe it to be an authentic original.

Continued support while you find your way through, Dance. Sorry for your loss. Praying for your growth.

DanceStrong 12/22/2016

Thanks Guys!! I'm sorry I took so long to reply. I read your responses earlier and they filled me with hope. they were exactly what I needed to hear, I just didn't have the time to write a response. Thank you for saying it isn't trivial. My mom asked me this morning why I looked so down. when I said I was heartbroken that I couldn't dance, she told me to get over it and that it's only 4 weeks. It isn't that long, I guess, but definitely not what I wanted or needed to hear this morning. She told me to do yoga, But unlike Ballet, I can't get to the yoga studio unless she or my dad can drive me.

My parents and I have an agreement not to talk about PTSD, and that I won't ask them for anything. They support me taking whatever care I need as long as I do it myself and don't tell them. So the fact that I NEEEED yoga or dance, that it's not just a whatever goes thing, is lost on them. It's pointless to explain it. That will be fun to work through for the next month. Gotta run. I'm so busy today, but you guys, and gals, are wonderful human beings!! Thank you.

Leo 12/22/2016

Oh, Dance, it's not small, not to me. When I found out I can't go trail hike and camp anymore, like, ever? That was 2011, and I'm grieving still. Foucs on the goal if you can... that you *will* dance again, okay? Big supportive purrrrrrs.

jewells1 12/22/2016

I agree with the rest, I use art as you do dance. I was on here pretty regular and starting my first classes just to get in the door and broke my arm. Not a little break but a 26 screw, 3 plate break. I still have issues with it. But that fear of losing my ability? I have had other breaks to my hands and arms before, the belief that I would draw with my teeth if I had too helped. I was supported here also by so many.
So support while you try yoga and any other safe exercises (maybe water aerobics?) that won't re injure your ankle.
J.

DanceStrong 12/22/2016

Thank you for the healing purrs and support. Sorry to hear about your arm Jewels. I like the imagery of painting with your teeth though. It could be a whole new style. Where there's a will there's a way, so I will find a way to cope while not putting a lot on my feet. I almost want to find a yoga class for tomorrow, Just so I can assure myself that his will work out.

Thank you for your continued support.

patti22 12/23/2016

Hugs as you find your way through, Patti

DanceStrong 12/23/2016

I've been really blue today, about not knowing how to stretch and work around my foot. Still the Not dancing feels like a loss, of a friend group, of a coping mechanism, of my lifeline for coping with bad days. There wasn't a yoga class today. there isn't one I can go to until next Tuesday at the earliest. I had two flashbacks in bed last night, small, but forbidding.

I desperately need someone to talk to, to just acknowledge that things aren't just fine and dandy right now. That I'm responsible for mobilizing my family and getting them in the Christmas mood, but two days before Christmas, I'm not feeling merry and bright. I feel the opposite, but that's not me. There is no way for me to be able to let that out, except here.

I tried baking and listening to music, and playing music. I tried all of my other favorite activities today, but they ended up feeling like a chore. I just want to say that I feel really blue right now, and I don't know what to do. I feel a little trapped by my own feelings. My family won't understand that, but I'm hoping you can.

micah 12/23/2016

I'm a ballerina too. Can you try subbing in some floor barre instead? Sometimes it helps to put on barre music and just work on the porte de bras while seated in a chair. I can isolate my core muscles that way and really focus on my shoulders. I've sprained my right ankle more times than I can count. I know exactly how you feel. I've had times when I had to take weeks off or when the injury was bad but not enough to make me stop, so I'd dance on it and make it worse. I went a hole competition season dancing on a sprain and compensating on my strong side, which resulted in getting a stress fracture in that foot instead. I know it's awful, but you're doing the right thing. Hang in there and do some floor barre and other floor work. Work on your flexibility instead. Lots of splits and stregthening exercises instead. You can probably even still take class seated and just do the porte de bras and upper body movements. It makes it bareable, I promise. Even if you just go watch class, watch everybody else and see the mistakes they make and how they get corrected. You can learn and get better without ever moving.

jewells1 12/25/2016

Merry Christmas. Dance, I looked theses up.
http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/stretches-for-achilles-tendon-problem
http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/strength-exercise-for-achilles-tendon-injuries

As always check with your doctor. start slow and build up to reps
Using an homemade heat/cool bag as needed for pain. take a couple zip lock sandwich bags and fill loosely with rice. Using a dish towel , fold it the long ways and sew, one end and side. Insert your rice bags. Sew the last side shut.
This can now be used to wrap effected area. to cool put in freezer a half hour. To warm, use microwave foe 30-40 seconds until comfortably warm on your inner wrist. This works well for moving circulation in and out of area, and pain relief.

DanceStrong 12/26/2016

Thank you Jewels and Micah!!! Floor Barre and working on flexibility sounds like an excellent Idea! I've been Icing and applying dry heat when it gets really sore, but the rice bag sounds like a great Idea and lasts longer.

I've been doing better the past two days, and I will definitely use your suggestions over the next few days and weeks. Thank you for you help!

lilmissy7 12/26/2016

Hi dance, I'm sorry how you're feeling. I used to go out salsa dancing a lot but my health issues are a little different these days so I can't push myself. For some reason listening to salsa music still makes me happy, sometimes I listen to it with my little coffee or tea & kinda just dance a little around the house lol not hard core salsa dancing like I used to but it still makes me happy. I would also do little things like go for walks to help clear my head to cope with things. My health problems got a little more rough over the last couple years so there started becoming more days where I would love to get outta bed that day & go for a nice walk to clear my head, and when I released I couldn't push my body those days I felt so overwhelmed & kinda angry. But, I started finding little different ways of coping. I live in a big apartment complex neighborhood that has little verandas on the side of each apartment that overlook the street. What I would do is set up my chair, a little salsa music playin & my little cup of tea & kinda just get a meditative effect of either feeling the breeze blow through my hair or something simple as seeing something so cute that a little kid that passes by would do. I still get to hear my salsa & to be outside, it was surprising how much comfort it would bring me. Idk if watching different dance videos or something like that may do the trick in still making you feel connected. I hope that doesn't sound stupid. & I agree with the other statement that when one door closes another opens.

I hope you feel better soon, sending you a hug and a smile :)

DanceStrong 12/28/2016

Thanks LilMissey. Sorry I couldn't respond sooner. The blues come and go, but the music is helping. Thank you for sharing your experience, It made me feel a lot better to read that.

I finally arranged a yoga class for tomorrow morning, and I'm hopeful that it will be helpful and be a welcome outlet. I've been doing a lot of seated and floor stretches and dancing on my good leg just a little bit in the bathroom or kitchen as I go about my day. I found Yin Yoga, which is a sitting yoga that works on Hip and Spine flexibility, which I think will be perfect for improving my ballet condition while staying off my foot.

I'm so sorry for dragging this message chain on for over a week. There are more good days than bad ones this week. I just had a therapy session today that went straight to a pressure point, so I'm a little sunken, but really I am okay. All of your messages mean so much to me and I am just so thankful I have you all. I'm coping in my own way, and I am so glad I have you. So, So very glad.

arfie 12/28/2016

I have watched some yoga which looked like beautiful and expressive dance in its own right. Here in the sub-tropics a great many people do yoga in the park, so I have the privilege of watching it quite allot.

I vote for it to be okay to drag threads out here. I believe it makes for a more thoughtful thread. In my own strictly personals, I need allot of processing time to achieve healing clarity.

micah 12/30/2016

That comment about the rice bag reminded me of something. If you fill a ziploc bag with water and rubbing alcohol, you can put it in the freezer. It won't ever freeze because of the alcohol, but will still be extremely cold. Target sells reusable heat/cold packs that come with a sleeve which I love. I sleep with the cold pack and wrap my ankle well with the sleeve. I've had excellent luck with doing that. Make sure you elevate as much as possible. You can lay on the floor with your feet resting against a wall above your head. That drains the fluid from swelling really well.

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