Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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My mean side is acting up tonight. She is intolerant, mean and cruel. She must have been sleeping earlier but something woke her up.
She has spent the last few hours telling me I am fat, stupid, disgusting and my attempts to shut her up just prove how pathetic i am. If I was really strong she couldn't do what she wanted. I will never get away from her and I will never do more than exist. Shut up and stay in your hole. You don't belong in the real world. You will do something stupid. You will just embarrass yourself. Shove it all down.
I hate these times. I just want to do something to cause physical pain. it calms me and quiets those thoughts.
She has spent the last few hours telling me I am fat, stupid, disgusting and my attempts to shut her up just prove how pathetic i am. If I was really strong she couldn't do what she wanted. I will never get away from her and I will never do more than exist. Shut up and stay in your hole. You don't belong in the real world. You will do something stupid. You will just embarrass yourself. Shove it all down.
I hate these times. I just want to do something to cause physical pain. it calms me and quiets those thoughts.
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The weeks seem to fly by!Happy Saturday to everyoneI hope that the weekend brings some chill time and barbecuesDoes it take others what seems like forever to add a comment on the boards?I'm okay everywhere else except boards..Everywhere else adds normally but it's annoyingly slow!Have a great Saturday and do something nice for you!!Big hug...xo
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I'm feeling down,, and got alot on my mind right now. I got grief going on, on top my depression and anxiety and now I got to worry about somewhere to live since I can't afford living here since my mom passed. So many bad things have happened since my mom passed. One thing after another it seems. Yesterday our fence fell from a storm that hit, had to call someone to prop it up. Thank...
It can help to stop the automatic thoughts that we can't shut off over time...
This can be changed with help Cecil.... Big hug of comfort for you...
The meanie is lying to you....She just doesn't know how to turn it off but there is a way....xo
Okay now that a vision that would have Peter Walker raising his eyebrow up---Way up!
Hugs just trying to give you a visual deflection, of my affection.
Hugs , Jewells
SunCloud.....I am working with a therapist and I am not really up on the definitions of therapy. It is hard for me to talk about this in a session. I get ashamed and embarrassed. He does ask me to think about what triggers it and to challenge the bad thoughts. I just feel exhausted from arguing with myself.
These are the nights i know better than to drink :-). I'm taking my bully to bed...telling her to shut the heck up first.
My own approach to this particular phenom - by whatever name - is to take ONE item from the self-abuse stream and make it my meditation for the day. Works for me. Small bytes and long chews.
Hope you find what works for you Cecil. The worst part of self-abuse is that there is no running away from it. The habit goes everywhere with me, no matter how often I unpack it with intent to leave it behind.
Thanks for all the feedback. It's good to know i am not the only one who struggles with this. I keep telling myself that all these years I have beaten myself up has not caused any positive changes so i should knock it off. Thats when the bully kicks in even more. Maybe she is afraid of being abandoned and no place to go??