Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder over 2 years ago, I'd had a breakdown and ended up in the psych hospital (which was a good experience, clean and caring and respectful.) for two weeks. After I was released I went to Therapy once a week, then a little while it went to every two weeks. Because I had to be off work so often they fired me. Its been hard for us to make ends meat ano stressful on my husband. He's been talking to people who don't have my interest at heart and have told him things and been lying about me. I recently got so upset I end up taking all of my Paxil and all of the Benadryl I was taking for an allergic reaction in an attempt on my life. I was sent to the ER via ambulance, he sent his mother to stay with me and I didn't see him until I was later moved to the ICU. This was 6 days ago. I was sent from the ICU to this hospital's psych unit (a terrible place and experience) from which I was released the next day. My husband was unhappy to see me return home and then made me leave. I was sent to my mother's. I don't have any of the new medications they placed me on nor my thyroid meds. He's promise to come see me and take me to get my meds, and to talk to me, I've yet to see him and I've been here two days. He's been telling people we are divorcing and some that I don't love him any more and left him. He told another person I am possessed. I'm hurting, have an appointment to see my therapist Monday but I'm so lost. I don't understand.
Second of all, can I say, thank goodness you're away from such an unsupportive and unsympathetic spouse? I can't *imagine* my hubby doing that. Ever. Any of it. He's stayed through my epilepsy, infertility, my accident and recovery and disability, my PTSD, depression, suicide attempt, you name it. And he'd *never* leave me without meds. So to me and this is opinion only based on what you wrote---emotional abuse immediately springs to mind. Wow. "Possessed"? Seriously? I haven't heard that one since my epilepsy diagnosis, when my ignorant-as-dirt hillbilly grandmother wanted me to have tarpaper over my windows to "keep out the bad spirits" (and my Catholic grandma on the other side suggested an exorcism!).... That's 25 years ago, so it's been a while. Guess that didn't die off anyway....
From my experience (and it's limited!).... the main questions I'd ask about this are *what* I don't understand, and write that down for me and the therapist to discuss. And write up a timeline like you did here. Find out just how extensive this lying goes. Generally if a person lies about you, it's to cover their own bad behavior---to discredit you, so no one will believe your version of events. My dad and sister were *classic* like that. (Hence my PTSD. 20 years of that, you don't get out unscarred.)
I'm rambling, because I really don't know what to say, to be honest, except that I am very glad you are still among the living, and that we here understand what it's like to live in the abyss that is PTSD, depression, etc.
Healing hopes for you,
Leo
It is so painful to learn you're married to someone who doesn't have it in them to stick with you through sickness and through health, but once you know it changes everything and it can be a good thing once the pain clears.
Try to focus on yourself and what you need right now instead of trying to sort him out and why he did what he did. People who know you will know he's lying. And the ones who don't know you, you don't need to really worry about.
If he's heading for divorce, I would find some good support as you move through that. And find a good lawyer who will look out for your best interest. If he earned more money than you, he will likely need to cover part of - or all of the cost of the attorney.
This is a time of big changes, but it doesn't have to be awful. Try to find things to look forward to - hobbies time with friends, even decorating a room or cooking a delicious meal.
No matter what happens don't kill yourself. Things can get better but you need to get out of toxic situations.
The talk about you being possessed is crazy.
He had given me reason to suspect he was being unfaithful to me (hiding his phone in his boxer pockets and not let me touch it) so I, not trusting anyone and him knowing, accused him after he left our house last Friday @ 10 AM and coming home 12hrs later only to get up and leave at 5AM and not be home yet at 7:30 PM on Saturday. He'd left me alone. He was supposedly going to a church function. I got rude and I said some words. He said I don't support him and he's tired of my house not being cleaned (the Paxil had stopped working but I was afraid to mention it because we are broke and I didn't want to cost more money) I haven't been sleeping well and could not get up to clean during the day. He then screamed at me and called me crazy. So I took all the meds I had and told him that's ok I took my medicine and I'm going to bed. I decided to wash dishes to make him happy and that's where he found me. He called 911 and a police officer came and talked to me and calmed me down (this man cried with me), his mom told everyone (while I was hooked to machines and IVs and catheters in ICU) that I was being threatened with arrest and the cop was screaming he'd handcuff me. I don't understand why they would lie. But I do believe she wants to demonize me and make him look good. I'm so upset and I just want to go home to my husband and my cat. I can't bring my cat here, my dad hates them. I miss her.
I have a question about your meds. Do you have a pharmacy that can deliver? You need your meds especially right now. If they cannot deliver would you be able to muster up the courage to take a cab or bus to the pharmacy?
Please try and find some time to practice some self-care. You have so much on your plate right now. I know it does not feel like it right now, but you will come out the other side of this and it will be ok.
((hugs))
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. But welcome to this group. It is one place I know of where others will tell you for real that you're not the only one because they've been there. And it got better, slowly and too slowly, but better. It's a healing place. Glad you found us.
I thank you guys. I've been on DS for a while but I left for a bit because I was diagnosed and I felt like I was just being dramatic. I'm 27 and it feels like I should be 57. Too much in too short a time, it's just piling up. (Pardon my sentences and grammar, I'm using my phone and it's hard to type correctly like this.)
You should get back into your house asap. Once a year passes, it's considered that you abandoned it, so you need to get back. Go with a police officer. Have them explain that he can't keep you away. If he wants to leave, that's on him.
DO NOT make it easy on him to make your life miserable!
BTW, there are in my knowledge three reasons spouses attend therapy. One is like my hubby---he wants to know what's going on without me needing to repeat painful stuff, and if he has questions, he can directly ask the therapist. The second--- Is the person using the chance to find out things they can and will use against you. The third is the one who sits there with you to control what you say, so you can never be truly honest.
A therapist *should* ask *you* about that dynamic before the spouse sits in, or in a solo session after a few with the spouse. In my experience. So that the therapist has a clear idea of the role of the spouse in your healing and/or trauma.
Gentle healing hopes and good luck:-)
He is lying.
He has thrown you out of your house.
He has treated you badly when you are ill.
He is telling others varying outlandish things.
He has refused to bring you needed medications.
He is treating you with a great deal of disrespect.
If someone really loves you, they ought to want you to be happier, healthier, stronger, more self-confident. Right?
Is it true that he tears you down instead, nitpicks, criticizes, nags, makes you feel nervous, tense, low, childish, stupid, angry, ashamed, or as if you are walking on eggshells?
If I'm right about the latter, the guy is emotionally abusing you. It's not about what you do that the criticism is really about.
it's about control...And no matter HOW good you do things? He will still tear you down. Because he needs to put someone down to feel powerful.
...all that's just a guess, but jerks don't just wake up jerky one morning, like a switch got flipped.
I assume he slowly took that mr nice guy mask off, so you'd blame yourself. Nope, that's just him, the guy you met was the fake.