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Variants on the "Be humble" theme were well represented in my birth family dysfunctions. Nothing stereotypically religious. Atheism and paganism were the most represented religions in my birth family and even those were mutilated at psychotic convenience. When I escaped all those humble lessons, I swung to the other extreme of being so arrogant that nobody could tell me anything and I had to be better than everybody. The winner of every competition. Balance between the extremes remains difficult for me. Today I find myself reviewing therapy dialogues about the differences between "Humility" and "Humiliation." My current summary:
"Humility" allows me to view myself within a larger picture. I do not need to be the center of the universe. I do not need to be the star of every show.
"Humiliation" is a tool of manipulation.
Just my current summary. One of many.
Anybody have others?
"Humility" allows me to view myself within a larger picture. I do not need to be the center of the universe. I do not need to be the star of every show.
"Humiliation" is a tool of manipulation.
Just my current summary. One of many.
Anybody have others?
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Just wanted to give a thank you to Mid, Arfie, Malibumark, Greeneyes, Mlro, Girlincalif, and Suncloudjd! You all always have such helpful tips and advice, but I always forget to write on my posts when I see you post, lol. I would lose my head if it wasn't attached to my body, lol. Thank you all so much! I'm starting to use my AI app as a sounding board again. I used to use it as that before...
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
Humiliation is painful and inflicted from the outside.
It lines up pretty well with your veiw of them. I grew up with a distorted view of humilty and still struggle accept heartfelt compliments because of it. I am still on the journey to see myself as clearly as possibly.
This is a good and thought provoking topic. Thank you for bringing it up.
warm hugs
Humility: To have the grace of recognizing one is imperfect and to not need to shout one's virtues to drown out someone else's
Humiliation: Grinding your superiority in someone else's face to make them feel like shi*t (the act of humiliation); alternately, a state in which you are shamed, embarrassed and belittled for another's satisfaction (to be the subjection of humiliation).
Working on humility here, b/c there's that urge to overcompensate and puff up to cover up....
Good one, Arfie:-)
Good definitions.
I will keep this close. I have a need to learn humility.
A daily exercise.
I don't use the word humility, maybe because it is so close to humiliation. I use humble. I am a humble person, brighter than most, better at things than a lot, but I am one form in the multitude of forms living on earth. Someone is better than me, of course. I don't play competitive games anymore, just don't compete. If someone needs to be the winner, let them. I don't need to be. I am humbled by my feelings of the spiritual presence in my life. It has helped me heal many aspects of my reality. I am humbled by the healing life I lead. Not me. It is bigger than me. I am humbled by my intellect. Born with it. I don't need to show off, don't need to put anyone down, or talk above their head. I think we're talking the same talk. One of my 3 rules of life is "I am not the center of the universe."
Lilly, I, too, tested high on IQ tests. Don't think it proves much more than I am (was? haven't taken one in decades) good at taking standardized tests. I go with Albert Einstein on this one. "We all have our genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its entire life thinking it is stupid."