Hey guys... I'm really really confused. I'm pretty young and I'm trying to deal with my past as it's coming back to the surface of my memories and now that I understand what happened, it's almost worse now. This kind of rediscovering my trauma has brought a few new discoveries I've made about my self that I hadn't realied before, a big one being I trust no one. No offence but it's different online where I know nobody, so I can sort of say more here than anywhere in real life. I've noticed that in real life I don't let my gaurd down for anyone. It's really lonely sometimes, but I'd rather have no one than risk hurting them... If that makes any sense. Anyway, the reason I've noticed these trust issues more in the last few weeks is I really need a change - I can't keep going like this alone. I need something to change, and I don't think it can until I aknowlege that someone actually did hurt me. I don't think it's going to hit me until I tell someone, but here's the bigger problem; I don't trust people!! I know it's irrational, but I just am so afraid of being hurt again, that I feel like it's not worth trusting someone enough to tell them all this. How can I take the leap of faith and trust someone?? The though of telling someone is absolutely terrifying... please please help
I am up shaking right now from bad nightmares of when i was raped. I am not normally getting them because of the prazosin but just shaking right now and all upset and scared and panicky. I texted a friend but i have a hard time calling people especially during the night. Just hitting 4am here she gets up by 5 everyday so just gotta make it till then if she doenst wake up before. I ihate this i...
I don’t feel real. Nothing feels real or alive. I just don’t even know what to do for myself anymore. I feel like I can’t survive this I feel like it won’t get better.