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How does abuser's birthday feel?

Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
I'm recovering, but refilling the wrong kind of diabetes meds gave me blood sugar problems, leading to insomnia, leading to daytime flashbacks. The right meds refill's here and in a couple of days I'll be stabilized again.

Meanwhile, at this vulnerable time it happens to be my abuser's birthday today. I got complex PTSD from this narcissist's mental, physical and spiritual abuse day after day for years on end, even though I ran away from home at 17.

He doesn't deserve more of my attention today, but he got to me today because of the meds thing and how my guard's down this week.

How do you feel when a day on the calendar reminds you that somewhere your abuser is being given a party?
deleted_user
deleted_user
i really believe that the best revenge is living well, and i think you do pretty darn well in life.

you're a successful professional, and your occupation directly impacts many young lives.

you're a kind man who generally has positive support to give to people who are struggling.

you're intelligent, and have a lot of courage. i don't think i could re-visit the place of my trauma, but you did fearlessly.

(i encourage you to keep writing out a list of why you're awesome muji. i didn't even bring up the artistic/musical side. hehe)

so let the lowley worm have his cake, because he FAILED in his life, and you didn't.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Thanks, amigos. Thank you so, so much. Deep thanks.

I feel ashamed I let him get to me so today. It's just been a threadbare week, though I'm recovering.

Part of me is ashamed, too, that I confess that I look forward to the news of his death. Not as punishment, but just as an end point. Not THE end, I know, but some closure so I can move to another phase of healing.

Either way, I'm giving him too much attention. As a narcissist, he's had too much of my attention already.

I do have so much to be thankful for, as you say. Be well, amigos!
jewells1
jewells1
"so let the lowley worm have his cake, because he FAILED in his life"
I have outlived most now, no matter what they did.I deal with my sugars going out of whack, and that alone can blow up anxiety.

Make a salt cake, salt where sugar should be with exlax frosting , picture their first bite followed by the run(s)

Borrow, my machete for some impromptu mental and physical dissection.

Send them a sympathy card "So very sorry for your loss... of mind. It's in a better place now".

Celebrate you are here knowing yourself better than they will ever know themselves.

Knowledge is power...and you got it Amigo!
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Jewell, you wrote: "Send them a sympathy card "So very sorry for your loss... of mind. It's in a better place now".

I read that and actually laughed out loud. Not just the LOL thought we throw around online. Actual out loud guffaws at high volume in my living room.

You're the best. You made me laugh at this, like today's Song of Deborah's thread about humor said. I need to laugh at this today. Gracias!
jewells1
jewells1
Ha!.
deleted_user
deleted_user
"So very sorry for your loss... of mind."

You can start a line of ungreeting cards, I can see it now...I love it!


Thanks Muji for sending me over to this discussion.
arfie
arfie
To my warped mind, birthdays are another anniversary. I get all the symptoms of PTSD anniversary syndrome. In my case, that would be 13 of them every year. I make a journal entry similar to what you just posted and let the emotions process. No "just" to it.

Sorry for your pain.
Annie71
Annie71
Yeah it's difficult for me too. I was drugged, raped, and almost died ata Police (yes, Police) New Years Eve party. (This is also why I didn't get justice, but that's another story...)

So it's pretty hard to ignore the date every year, for one, and then it's also my husband's birthday on NewYears Eve, so in addition to not being able to overlook the date, i have to act happy for him and do the birthday thing and then the NewYears thing and it just feels like we celebrate my rape every year...hooray...

And I know somewhere HE is celebrating too, with his wife and kids and friends, who have no idea WHO this guy actually is...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Abusers shouldnt have birthdays
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Wow, Annie, New Year's Eve is one very loaded anniversary for you, to be sure. Glad you shared about it here so we could support you, and hope you remind us around December 30th so we can support you then.
MillaSofia
MillaSofia
Now my abuser's birthday feels like nothing. Before it felt like something. Sending good thoughts, my friend.
sugarbear75
sugarbear75
I don't care if they do have a party. I do not believe they can truly be happy or even they have a party. I do not like those reminders of events. I remember very few birthdays in my past . They made mine miseralble and horrible. I am celebrating mine this weekend. So I am gonna have a blast. Sorry you are feeling this way. I know how you feel , I did not remember most of the abuse. I am remembering now and will be praying for you. I have had pstd for a long time and didn't even know what it was. Take care.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Happy Birthday, Sugarbear!
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