Since just before Christmas my skin has begun to crawl at night keeping me awake.  I thought I had fleas in my house and flea bombed my house 3 times, plus I bought every bug spray and ointment out there and took care of my clothes and bedding.  It felt pretty gross like I'm a dirty person, and I'm definitely not.  Though I'm an old bachelor living alone, I keep a good house.

It's continued since I went back to teaching school after the holidays Jan 18th and the insomnia started to show in my work, so I finally went to my primary care doc yesterday.  He said it wasn't bugs, and sent me to a specialist right away.

My doctor's appointment this morning was tough-the appointment did what it was supposed to do, though the doctor's bedside manner stunk--that's what made it tough, but we'll leave that for another time.  However, later in the day a good thing happened:  my boss offered me an extra class teaching  in the summer.  It would be via Distance Learning alongside my favorite Distance Learning aide, so it would be fun.  Then the extra money would go toward saving up for retiring to that place in Mexico I just visited over Christmas as my Christmas present to myself since I don't spend Christmas with my abusive family.  Something that makes me look forward to the future, maybe a future when my skin doesn't crawl any more, right?

Pretty good day, in the end, then.  Just thought I'd express my gratitude.

As to what the specialist had to say, it turns out I've got a skin disease called prurigo nodularis that in my case is caused by my kidney failure, a skin disease that's making my skin crawl & keeps me up at nights.  Gross, huh?  I haven't been talking about my insomniac struggle with it over the last month much here because I was embarassed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prurigo_nodularis

At least it's not all in my head.  A lot of patients complain that it's blamed on them that way, and with my PTSD diagnosis that could've happened.  Glad it's clearly identified as kidney disease, although I am kind of fed up with chronic kidney disease, too.  Now this.  On the Wiki link above it says "Prurigo nodularis is very hard to treat."  Like kidney disease.  Like PTSD.  How come I don't even any of the easy diseases to treat? What a selfish thing to say.  But I can't deny it's crossing my mind.

Anyway, my skin's still crawling tonight, but at least I know what it is, and I don't have to work tomorrow.  I have to speak in a church Sunday morning, though.  Support welcome.