You mean you're not in the prostate cancer group?

It's not selfish to look after your own needs as a human being. Always remember that you must take care of yourself first before you can help others. It'll do little good if you give water to everyone else as you die of thirst. You're not being selfish in any unhealthy way if you only participate in discussions that apply to you.

I agree with Beaumont. Relax and do what works for you.

"enlightened self interest"- you are going with your heart and it improves not only something for the other person, but the world or environment you live in too

also not a bad impulse to hold back and let someone else pitch in when you don't feel moved to or know what to add- when I can do that, I usually find the person who knows what to say goes ahead and says it

Seriously, yeah, I know more about the groups in DS that apply to me, and so can share more and better, cuz those are the ones I do most research on and have most experience with. I can't research everything, and don't have experience with everything, even if I really feel for the people and want to help like with prostate cancer, or hypohydratosis. I just don't know anything about the latter, and I had an uncle who died of prostate cancer, I definitely have PTSD and have done research on it, and so I can share information and support better here. But I don't see that as selfish. I see it as mutual benefit. I think if I was being selfish I wouldn't really be here much at all, and would think "why bother?"

no it is not selfish at all, you are doing it for yourself and you are making it, that's what counts

and you are sharing how you made it through and that helps for many, doesnt have to be way you are doing it, it can be so diferent from how you made it but still helpful for others in their own way

you dont have to be any expert at all, and here on ds you share what you know the best, and like for all of us we cant respond to everyone, we read it, anknowledged it and there are others who knows there more and they will respond it there

example from my real life: he's older man, living in my neighborhood, i dont know him, he doesnt know me either,

im sorry and it touches my heart when i see him, dont know what he has but his spine is no more straight, he has his walker which he barely can move and when i see his persistance it is motivation for me, he doesnt even know that he is helping me, when he can put that effort then i can do something to help myself too

from here on ds i get ideas from anyone or something to think about, and there is posts that i do respond more and some i cant respond at all other than reading it and i put on topics mostly to share my way of getting through or better and maybe it can help somebody to see that there is better and find their own way to start their own way of recovery

you arent selfish

i do like your humor way of talking, and i do get my ideas through your talking

I often wonder if the selfish benefit is nature's measure of purity. If what I was taught is "selfish" is human nature at its best. Humans are pack animals. What benefits one of us benefits the entire pack.

For sure, wide paths of destruction mark the passing of my caped crusader and martyr complex... When I listen too closely to my head, I am too busy to hear my heart.

Maybe??????

Not even animals are really selfish. Humans are more selfish sometimes. Animals know when to stop, humans always want more, more, more.. that is selfish. Animals rarely go renegade and kill for sport while some humans think it's great fun. I don't think realy selfishness is any good thing. When I said that I don't think posting only in forums that we know what we're talking about is selfish, I meant that iwe can't help anybody if we just make a stupid mess. Even for the most altruistic reasons, if I'm doing somethng totallly for somebody else, it's best to know how to do it.
Some times I help others because if I help them it improves my environment. And, in my culture, we don't see such a distinct 'other'ness. We are all related - mitakuye oyasin. We are all in the same boat on this earth, and if your end sinks, my end is not far behind.
aho

That's the philosophical argument: Does altruism truly exist, or is it the rewards we receive. I don't know. I do know that I, too, walk past posts that have nothing to do with me. It's because I have nothing to say. Or, I have nothing helpful to say. I'm not sure how I feel about the absolute nature of your statement of selfishness. I just don't know.

"Some of the gnarliest messes I have made in my own life were results of sincere efforts to help somebody out." Amen to that. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, the saying goes. The biggest example was when I spent years trying to reconcile with my abuser family of origin without their having a reciprocating desire for reconciliation. I just got abused all over again in the same manner I'd been abused as a child. I was even punched in the face at Christmas by the male abusive parent, just as when I was a kid.

It took that for me to learn you can't fix people. Only yourself, and that's a heck of a job in and of itself. Yes, arfie!

Muji, I'm sorry. And Amen to the fixing yourself part.