Sounds like we had the same breakfast ...hope it all changes in some way HUGS

I wake up every morning with this sinking feeling in my stomach and just stare at the wall. Where do I go from here

Hugs Butterfly. Gentle Air Hugs that won't damage your beautiful wings. For now just keep coming here. People here are more likely to understand your struggles because many of us have been through similar things. Some of the people here have faced trauma and PTSD for decades, and they are some of the most hopeful and encouraging people here. Maybe you cannot solve your problems today, but you can help solve someone else's on here. The more I give to others, the more supported I feel and the more I feel like I belong and am wanted. This doesn't mean you have to smile and put a mask on all the time. You never have to mask your feelings here, and that is liberating. Recognizing and addressing your feelings is a major step in recovery. We cannot push them down forever.

I am sorry your family cannot understand what you are going through and support you in the way that you need. I am living with my parents right now, and they also do not understand nor do they want to talk about it. I quickly found other outlets for my PTSD needs, because outlets are very important. This site is a good outlet. I wish you all the best in your healing process. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.

I'm hoping in not making mistake by opening up. I am always being told to think of something else or get passed it or move on and stop dwelling. That's not the case. I've seen war. I've seen and done some stuff that I can not get out of my head. Smells trigger me. Car following me too long triggers me. Fireworks. People standing on their roof. I have flashbacks. I can not control that. Nightmares. My solution is not sleeping. I don't know where to begin to heal. Talking about it. People say I repeat the same thing. And I don't. There are so many instances that were similar to the previous. And it's so frustrating because I really just want to get it off my chest. But I'm too graphic or say too much. I find it hard to even get on here but I do. I can't do face to face anymore. The look people give me. I'm a marine. I'm trying to adjust and I can't.

It has been a long journey since last year. Ive come a long way and still have a long way to go. PTSD is something that will never go away. However we do manage it in different levels and intensity. I have learned alot about myself and those around me during my transition. This has been one of the toughest journeys I have ever had to endure. But I am still here.

hugs, it is so good to hear from you xo i'm so glad you are here, ((((hugs))))