I am feeling overwhelmed right now.  My husband and I have been in marriage counselling with 2 different counsellors in 3 years.  As with the last he brings up he doesn't believe my abuse story that had emerged during one of our earlier sessions.  It had been hidden in my brain for almost 50 years so I have had a lot of adjustments dealing with these memories.

My Mom did not believe me when I told her with my limited english at 20 months old.  Over the years I have had weird flash backs and odd feelings which she denied, except for the fact they found the boarder in my room and kicked him out.  He lived with us for 2 years, my Mom is a narcissits and she just did not want to deal with it.  Plus it gave her time for herself while my sister and I endured a crazy violent man.  

So this of course triggers me that I married someone who patterns my Mom's behaviour.  My last marriage counsellor told me that it was unhealthy for me to remian in the marriage if he doesn't change.  He said this is critical point in my life of what happened to me. So here we are again with the new counsellor and the same story.  I was so triggered last week that I do not have any memory of driving 2 hours to my cottage.  My last week was awful and trying to work, dealing with feeling dysregulated all week 

feeling lost