Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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What do you guys think of outings like baby showers, get togethers,etc?
reason why I ask is because I went to my cousin's gf baby shower. It was probably the MOST awkward, uncomfortable and loneliest moments for me. A part of me is tangled and confused because I knew I should've left earlier but also, a part of me knows that I should've stayed home also. It's starting to hit me: I can't/don't enjoy things like this anymore and it leaves me to the idea why I rather go someplace out in the open than closed indoors; even then, the thought of going outdoors just makes me wanna stay inside and do whatever.
I dressed up for the occasion but in my own style of choice. Some guys just kept staring at me also. I guess this has nothing to do with the post but you guys get what I mean? Do I dress up because I am there to impress others or is it because it's just what I feel most comfortable in?
I guess this reality of ptsd, or in my case, complex ptsd, is that nothing FEELS right and OUT OF PLACE. I can't emphasize enough how real and exposed I feel to myself and others. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
No shame. Just disappointment. Deep.
reason why I ask is because I went to my cousin's gf baby shower. It was probably the MOST awkward, uncomfortable and loneliest moments for me. A part of me is tangled and confused because I knew I should've left earlier but also, a part of me knows that I should've stayed home also. It's starting to hit me: I can't/don't enjoy things like this anymore and it leaves me to the idea why I rather go someplace out in the open than closed indoors; even then, the thought of going outdoors just makes me wanna stay inside and do whatever.
I dressed up for the occasion but in my own style of choice. Some guys just kept staring at me also. I guess this has nothing to do with the post but you guys get what I mean? Do I dress up because I am there to impress others or is it because it's just what I feel most comfortable in?
I guess this reality of ptsd, or in my case, complex ptsd, is that nothing FEELS right and OUT OF PLACE. I can't emphasize enough how real and exposed I feel to myself and others. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
No shame. Just disappointment. Deep.
Can relate to what you wrote, and for me it was finding myself loathing situations I had formally liked that involved groups of people. In my case I know it wasn't just the people, because it was the same people that didn't used to bother me, that had done nothing to me; also every once in a while I would be OK, like all the fear and loathing had stayed home in bed and let me go on my home.
While I've now restructured my life where I only meet 1 on 1 with people, and then am able to go out at times. Still this is an area where I have so much work to do, get scared off way too quickly, and am concerned at my low motivation to change, and inability to trust or give others the benefit of the doubt.
I don't know what the solution is other than to still go to therapy.
I still like people a lot, I mostly just don't trust them. Also the more I like someone, the less I trust them. Maybe different than what you're going through - related to circumstances of my trauma.
Just wanted to let you know I understand your discomfort.