Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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For the last six months I've really tried hard to get out of it, but tomorrow morning I am due bright and early for jury duty. I haven't mentioned it here because I have been in denial about it until the last minute.
I know I may not be selected, and it may be over in one day's trip to the court house. I just don't like being in places like that. I love the US judicial system and don't fear US police.
Trigger Warning
But I was raised in Uruguay when there was a dictatorship there, and courts and police were cruel and corrupt. I was arrested for no reason 3 times, and ended up getting tortured to the edge of death the third time. The officer presiding over my interrogation actually did have me kneel to shoot me in front of my teen friends. He then pulled his side arm, put it to my temple, and pulled the trigger. It jammed. He pulled it again. Miraculously, it jammed again. He made a wisecrack to his troops, and they laughed uproariously. In both fear and relief at being alive I wet myself in front of him, his troops, and all of my teen friends.
It's both a terrifying and a humiliating memory. Along with it comes the memory of the mother of my best friend in high school. When we were in 10th grade, she was arrested under the dictatorship's rules. We spent 3 years going to visit her in prison every week. She was kept in a filthy cell deep underground behind stone walls, it was like those dungeon scenes in movies, it was just horrible. It tore him to pieces every week, but we went. It was his mom.
And on and on for 12 years, my youth. Like I said, I live here because I ran away from that in Uruguay. I love the US court system and find the police to be nice compared to that. Uruguay's a democracy, too, now, and the police are nice to me there, too, when I got back and visit. All of that is gone, but it's still in me in my PTSD DNA, so to speak.
So I'm just not really as eager to go to the courthouse as other people might me, even for jury duty.
I know I may not be selected, and it may be over in one day's trip to the court house. I just don't like being in places like that. I love the US judicial system and don't fear US police.
Trigger Warning
But I was raised in Uruguay when there was a dictatorship there, and courts and police were cruel and corrupt. I was arrested for no reason 3 times, and ended up getting tortured to the edge of death the third time. The officer presiding over my interrogation actually did have me kneel to shoot me in front of my teen friends. He then pulled his side arm, put it to my temple, and pulled the trigger. It jammed. He pulled it again. Miraculously, it jammed again. He made a wisecrack to his troops, and they laughed uproariously. In both fear and relief at being alive I wet myself in front of him, his troops, and all of my teen friends.
It's both a terrifying and a humiliating memory. Along with it comes the memory of the mother of my best friend in high school. When we were in 10th grade, she was arrested under the dictatorship's rules. We spent 3 years going to visit her in prison every week. She was kept in a filthy cell deep underground behind stone walls, it was like those dungeon scenes in movies, it was just horrible. It tore him to pieces every week, but we went. It was his mom.
And on and on for 12 years, my youth. Like I said, I live here because I ran away from that in Uruguay. I love the US court system and find the police to be nice compared to that. Uruguay's a democracy, too, now, and the police are nice to me there, too, when I got back and visit. All of that is gone, but it's still in me in my PTSD DNA, so to speak.
So I'm just not really as eager to go to the courthouse as other people might me, even for jury duty.
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Here is my new brother, copper :) He's so tiny! Moo and Tuck were ok with him on first meeting. Rocket due to his severe aggression will never meet Cooper.
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https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTDeA9Wxg/
You will have no problems tomorrow. Look at what you have overcome and are not only alive, but thriving. Many prayers of comfort to you.
It will be ok.
So get the medical exemption, because you'd probably not ever get seated.
...Last time I was in a panel, but not seated, it was memorable:
They were trying to qualify a jury to try a DWI case.
The woman had refused a breathalyzer on the scene.
There was only one officer who claimed to see her weaving on the road.
He arrested her, but * did not get a search warrant for a blood draw, * as is usual if a dwi arrest is made.
No dashboard camera recording either, no other witnesses.
Just his words against hers.
Texas law says you CAN convict based on credibility of single witnesses...BUT
They did not find enough people among the prospective jurors who'd be WILLING to convict on that alone.
They had to drop and reschedule.
The good news is that I'm an on call juror for 30 days IF a trial comes up. There aren't trials schedule for most days, so that's good. Then, even on the days there are trials, there were 100 of us in the room, so there's almost a 90% chance of not being called then, too.
A student of mine was in the room, called for jury duty, too. So in a way I'm glad they didn't ask for medical excuse info. I'd prefer not to list my PTSD and other diagnoses in front of a student who might tell it back in my workplace. I'm out of the closet with my boss, but don't need office politics publicity.
One of my peers raised their hand and asked, "So how were we selected?"
Argh. With my luck we'll be peer jurors in a major trial. Please, God, no.
I hope that if you don't feel up to serving you will say so .. Some trials can go on for months.. My mom served on a murder trial
And they are very graphic and don't deal with emotion as far as the jury is concerned... I could only imagine how very hard this could be for someone with PTSD... As a matter of fact some people who serve on juries develop PTSD from the trauma of it
Another hug ...xo