I'm here if you need to talk/vent

Your pain and the pain of others is not a fair comparison, Kam. Pain exists to let us know something is wrong. Pay attention. Fix it. Ignore it abusively enough and a paper cut can infect into lethal gangrene.

You just took a solid step toward figuring out what to do. Sharing about my symptoms in a supportive environment helps me clear my mind enough that I can begin looking at ^it^ a bit more objectively. Hope it works for you, as well. Share freely. Share often.

No such thing as "not as bad as" or similar comparisons.

I had a rage-out dad who was very very loud and screamed a lot. Frankly, terrified the crap outta me from birth onward. I still have nightmares about the man and he died over 20 years ago and I'm pushing 50. Now is that "all" that happened? Nope. Is that enough? Hey, trauma is trauma, and terror is terror. You were a little kid who was faced by a human volcano. And when we're introduced to fear and helplessness that young? Leaves a big mark on our formative "clay". One breath at a time, and vent away.

One of my scariest PTSD memories is of my dad going after my mom in the car right after church one Sunday. Being cooped up in a car with someone who is out of control is traumatizing, for sure, a good reason to freak out. You're not alone.