YEAP!

I don't forgive as by definition of my Merriam Webster dictionary that would mean :to release from guilt.

That is a non-reality they are guilty. There is no question about it...And I try to remember only to process and understand and also because I have intrusive thought that won't let me forget as part of my OCD.

With my own, personal Trauma Induced Amnesia came horrific night mares, paralyzing flashbacks, sleep deprivation levels of insomnia and irrational rage reactions that I and my therapists interpreted as the early stages of "doomed to repeat." Left intact, there is no telling how far it might have escalated.

Forgive? Totally separate step in my personal recovery. In my personal recovery, putting it with the remembering step is tantamount to setting a loaded crack pipe in front of a crack addict.

Healing is a very personal journey.

i realize that the term `forget' might be seen differently by people w/ complex ptsd who have memory loss, but i don't. i have it recorded on a film loop in my brain, and remember every millisecond.

i was shot in the face. any reflective surface is a reminder, so if i need to learn to forget, i don't see why i should feel insulted for giving an honest reply. sheeesh....bullies suck!

I apologize for making you feel bullied, Mojopaw. I am in tears that my truth was an insult to you. I seem to be hurting allot of people here lately. I have been struggling...

Repeat, healing is a highly personal journey. Yes, my diagnosis is cPTSD with severe memory loss. I have personal experience that it is possible for people with differing needs to respect the other's truth. Perhaps not here...

I am sorry for your pain and support your quest for your personal healing.

Mojo, I also have very vivid memories, so vivid, I can't see past them. I have prayed so often for amnesia, to wipe it all from my brain. Always there, never letting up. My second husband did so much to show me real love and comfort my nightmares and daymares. Catching me from hard landings, I would not have walked away from.
I am here because after his passing from cancer, joining him was an easier thought, than staying. I teeter on the brink most days. I am now in "Boot camp" mentality to learn to live with this. Because the opposite is so inviting. Good or bad I have to fight everyday to learn a reason to move on.

I truly do not wish you ar anyone to hurt, because I need to define the parimeters of my coping, so the proper help can be received, not backed away from.

These are just sensitive subjects. One of the biggest problems among abused siblings is their unique reactions/responses to the same abuser and abuse. One feels like the other isn't "doing it right" and it seems to cause a ton of conflict in the sibling's relationships.

We're kind of like a family here, and I think it may be pretty easy to misunderstand one another. As a bit of a newbie, I see a tremendous level of respect and kindness among all of you and it warms my heart. Truly.

I promise I would give you my amnesia if I could. I surely wish it was the blessing so many seem to think. My family of origin treasured theirs through many generations....

Sorry my dissension is offensive here, as well.

For those of you who genuinely do want the amnesia, the forgive and forget litany that worked so well for me does not really cause forgiveness. I never had to forgive what I was able to forget.

Unfortunately,the side effects are a bear. My family of origin calls prison their "Institution of Higher Learning." They are good students. The legacy has grown since I left them decades ago. It's a family tradition.

Onward through the fog.