Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I used to live in Kansas, and last night the news displayed a workplace mass shooting there.
Today I opened the newspaper from Montevideo, Uruguay and it said people there where I grew up are now arming themselves for self defense.
TW
I came here to the USA from Uruguay after a military patrol officer made me kneel in the street and pulled the trigger twice to his gun held to my head. It jammed twice, I wet myself, he laughed, and let me go. After years as a civilian in combat dodging bombs (literally twice) and bullets (lots) the amazing luck of that double close call got me to run away to the USA.
I'm a citizen, so I'm not an illegal Latin American here. I just break even making a living, but I've had a career here to live here and be safe and in the intervening years Uruguay has calmed down. So I've started going down there again every year preparing to retire back down there 5 years from now. It keeps me calm and hopeful to count on that.
But even though shootings in other places in the USA don't have to do with me, if they're familiar places they trigger my flight response. I have moved around quite a bit during my years living here in the USA whenever my PTSD flight response got triggered and I didn't feel safe. Reading now that there's an increase in guns back in Uruguay today brings on anxiety for me, too.
My retirement plan there in 5 years has assumed it to have become a peaceful sanctuary for me with my PTSD. Plus, Uruguay allows US citizens, which I am, to retire there with their pensions income tax free, so I can afford to retire there more than I can afford to retire here in the USA anyway.
Please know that this is not meant to initiate an NRA debate about guns. In Uruguay I was a gun owner who hunted rabbits and quail for food often before the civil war gave guns a different role in my city for years up until the one held to my head jammed twice miraculously. I can think of nowhere else for me to run to now, yet my PTSD flight response is getting triggered.
If I really think there is nowhere left in the world where I can be safe, let's just say that it is very, very bad for my ability to cope with my PTSD. I don't want to get into the details of exactly how right now. I can't take any PTSD medication like an Ativan like I used to take because of my 60% permanent kidney damage. So I am asking for some support if anyone has support to give. Thanks.
Today I opened the newspaper from Montevideo, Uruguay and it said people there where I grew up are now arming themselves for self defense.
TW
I came here to the USA from Uruguay after a military patrol officer made me kneel in the street and pulled the trigger twice to his gun held to my head. It jammed twice, I wet myself, he laughed, and let me go. After years as a civilian in combat dodging bombs (literally twice) and bullets (lots) the amazing luck of that double close call got me to run away to the USA.
I'm a citizen, so I'm not an illegal Latin American here. I just break even making a living, but I've had a career here to live here and be safe and in the intervening years Uruguay has calmed down. So I've started going down there again every year preparing to retire back down there 5 years from now. It keeps me calm and hopeful to count on that.
But even though shootings in other places in the USA don't have to do with me, if they're familiar places they trigger my flight response. I have moved around quite a bit during my years living here in the USA whenever my PTSD flight response got triggered and I didn't feel safe. Reading now that there's an increase in guns back in Uruguay today brings on anxiety for me, too.
My retirement plan there in 5 years has assumed it to have become a peaceful sanctuary for me with my PTSD. Plus, Uruguay allows US citizens, which I am, to retire there with their pensions income tax free, so I can afford to retire there more than I can afford to retire here in the USA anyway.
Please know that this is not meant to initiate an NRA debate about guns. In Uruguay I was a gun owner who hunted rabbits and quail for food often before the civil war gave guns a different role in my city for years up until the one held to my head jammed twice miraculously. I can think of nowhere else for me to run to now, yet my PTSD flight response is getting triggered.
If I really think there is nowhere left in the world where I can be safe, let's just say that it is very, very bad for my ability to cope with my PTSD. I don't want to get into the details of exactly how right now. I can't take any PTSD medication like an Ativan like I used to take because of my 60% permanent kidney damage. So I am asking for some support if anyone has support to give. Thanks.
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I'm trying to keep hope alive through this surprising news.
Muji
I won't be able to afford to retire in the USA, my career having been interrupted by PTSD for a few years in the 2000's. Belize, like Uruguay, doesn't tax US citizens' social security and pensions, so that's really great. My old college roomie surprised me about wanting to retire there because he, unlike me, can afford to here in the US.
It would be nice to retire abroad with a buddy. His wife has PTSD and we've been a support to each other over the years.
Muji, you are triggered and what do we do when triggered? We reach out to our DS friends and I am so glad you have done that. Please keep reach out to us. We also do some extra self care. I hope you will consider doing some really nice things for yourself, a special meal, a hockey game, anything you enjoy doing.
I am about to try something I read in a book and it might work for you in this case. It is what they call loving kindness metta phrases that you repeat to yourself through out the day.
Suggested Loving-kindness and Self-Compassion Phrases
May (I) be safe.
May (I) be happy.
May (I) be healthy.
May (I) live with ease.
Insight Meditation Society, Barre, MA
My friend has been on a trip with his wife. I think they may be back by today, so I sent him an email. I'd like to talk it over with him.