I am sorry you were triggered into flashbacks Muji and I hope it gets better for you soon. Ya, i wrote that post about the bubble thing. it does not happen all the time but usually when i am least expecting it. ((hugs))

Yes, this happens to me so routinely that I am finally figuring out how to handle it. I think. Maybe. At least. . . That's my self-consolation and I'm sticking to it.

Triggers are always innocent in my logic, muji. A flint spark can't tell the diff between a gunpowder keg and a beer keg. The spark just flies whichever way the air currents carry it.

Electric lights remain one of my gnastiest triggers. I don't care to do the research, but I am fairly certain that nobody ever installed a security light with the goal of imitating a child pornography set, just to torment lil' ol' me, but. . . It still keeps happening. Sigh. Why does God keep making so many child porn set directors? Since electric lights just keep on getting brighter and more common, I reckon I'm stuck learning how to counter the flashbacks. Sigh. Where is my Magic Just Wand? Just flip the freaking switch, would ya, Mister Stern?

happens to me all the time. just yesterday goofing around with my hubby hit a nerve accidentally. then my hubby and i can set each other off pretty easy without meaning to. i was also wound up dealing with the staff at my PCP's office.

but i'm thinking you refer to the big ones. yeah i get those too. the worst for me are topics of religion, my childhood and my marriage.

then there is when i'm touched. when i was at PT one day they wanted to use a band around my legs to help strengthen my movement. he went to slip it over my foot- it was all i could do to not kick the poor guy in the face. i fell apart. left early. while he was sympathetic (they all knew my PTSD) i was left reeling the rest of the day and fearful the next day i went in.

my home care girl has set me off a few times too. what seems like the most innocent questions to most people becomes a gauntlet for me. how does one explain what can't be explained only lived? sticking to those boundaries gets difficult. here i am in the middle of a flash back telling the other person i don't want to talk about it and they just push. but of course they are convinced they aren't pushing. they are asking a perfectly normal question. in reality they are causing a huge gaping rift of pain. right about that time i snap and they regret ever asking.

yes what to others seems so innocent often leaves me wounded for days afterward.

Aw, Hugs Muji. This used to happen to me frequently when I was in college. I also recently reached out to a friend who was with me when I was traumatized to discuss how she remembers that period. So I knew I was treading in dangerous territory, but I still wasn't prepared for her response. She didn't say much of any particular events, but it was her way of talking about wanting to go look up all the details she could remember that triggered me and scared me. Sometimes getting communication in written form is harder because you can't prepare for what you're about to read and you can't change the conversation or ease into it. It's all laid out in the letter, all at once. I decided to talk to my friend, but over the phone where I had some control. Best of luck in your healing. I'm sorry the letter was so triggering. You could always tell him to Google the war so you don't have to be the informant.

This happens to me frequently and usually when I least expect it. It takes me a long time to recover from it. It's like a scab being picked off an old wound. I'm sure it's probably very difficult because of your teaching. You can't hide out till it's back under control. Take it a day at a time and fall back on your grounding skills. Much support and hugs.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one. It was the innocence of his questions that got to me. I can handle it when people ask me about the traumas that give those of us here PTSD. What I can't handle is when they ask me to explain how folks could have done such things to us. I myself don't know: that's the $64,000 dollar question, after all, isn't it?

If there is a heaven, I sincerely hope there are beings there from other planets where they did not do to one another what we here have had done to us. As for this planet, I honestly can't account for the traumatic goings on here, not for the traumas that happened to me, not for the traumas that happened to any of us.

I so wish I did have the answer to it, all, too. I really do.

I don't have the answer, so I took the day off and went to sit by a peaceful pond in the woods to pull myself together to live again with the question of "why?"

I really and truly appreciate your support.

My issue was a long term relationship that turned horribly violent, abusive & unpredictable (but had started out as my best friend) and ended in suicide. We fought just before it happened.

My triggers have been confrontations and feeling abandoned or like someone doesn't contact me when I'm expecting them.

I've found the more I'm triggered & nothing bad ever comes of the situation - the less sensitive I am. I've gotten to where most situations that used to trigger don't anymore.

What I haven't gotten over is being triggered by these things when attempting to date & meet people in that regard. I'm kind of going through this now. I was recently horribly triggered just because I started liking & trusting someone & they suddenly pulled away.

My anxiety had been through the roof & it's lasted for almost a month. It is calming down now. This person is still my friend & I told him what I was going through.

I plan to keep trying. I've been single for 10 yrs because I've been avoiding this, but I'm ready to take the bull by the horns. I think they call it exposure therapy.

My hope is that if I put myself through this enough times & the world doesn't implode & nobody dies - eventually I will be able to reduce my trigger reaction.

I feel hopeful about it because it's I've already made progress this way. It's a tough way to go - but I really want to live my life & not be controlled by my PTSD symptoms.

I guess I'll have to let you know how it works out.

I'm sorry you are going through this - it sure can send you into a whirl when you had felt like you had things under control.

I get through it by keeping close friends & being very open & honest about what I'm going through.

Big hugs!

More and more, "Insanity" is explanation enough for me when pondering war, child sex trafficking, et al.

These days I more often question the value of understanding Insanity. Especially during election year when I get the opportunity to vote for a few of those Head Nut Jobs. . . Can I vote for *None of the Above*?

Muji, the mere question, "What's that scar from?" can send me spiraling. Gentle gentle gentle support.

Thanks. Back to work today. Hope I can keep my head down and just keep on task and not spiral off into the "why" question on the job. I have a psych eval pre surgery this afternoon with a therapist I've never met. I wish she were meeting me on one of my many good days. Oh, well.

Muji I am late on this...but you should have mailed him a copy of your book signed.
Hugs J.

Hey, jewells, that was an idea! Fortunately, the talk with the therapist went great. Unfortunately, it went so well that I don't have to talk to her again, she signed my sheet vouching for my mental fitness for the surgery. That's a good thing, but she was a good therapist, plus her sister married a Uruguayan. It's rare for me in a setting like that not to have to explain Uruguay.

Thanks for the support. Tomorrow I have the endoscopy now, another step in the screening process...