Well it takes love... something that is hard to find in this harsh cold world

Have you explored your options with therapy?

Talk therapy?

Hello Silen. Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

The death of an abuser is a common trigger for PTSD. Nightmares are a common PTSD symptom. I am even tempted to accuse you of being "Normal" in this regard. Almost. I don't really believe in, "Normal." The PTSD experience is different for each of us and the differences are important.

Keeping a dream journal was a key exercise in getting my own nightmares under control. During the years I was plagued with sleep deprivation levels of nightmares, I kept a notebook and pen by my bed and noted my dreams -nightmares or not- before I even got out of bed. The journal provided tremendous insight on the spots in need of therapy work.

Welcome aboard, Silen. Hope you find lots of healing tips and companionship here.

Thank you for the encouraging words! What kinds of therapy are there?

I like the idea of a dream journal. I journal a lot but I don't know if it is helping. It could just take time.

I was "graduated" from formal therapy to therapy maintenance around 2k. The names and theories of formal therapy have changed quite allot in the past 15 years and I have no personal experience with any of them.

The dream journal was my first journal experience. It quickly grew into a therapy journal as well as a dream journal. It is not a panacea, but I believe it helps.

Do be patient with the process, Silen. It be a journey of many turns, turnarounds and standstills.

Welcome to the board......I'm sorry that you are struggling right now but am glad that you're here.....xo

There are several therapies.
In my opinion, I think that depth psychology, psychoanalysis is the most effective because dreams are a explored quite often in therapy, explodation of ones dreams are an important part of the work.
It's totally life changeing work because it goes deep, in a very profound and enriching way.
I think a dream journal is a good idea, and the fact that you lean toward feeling a desire to do this for yourself is a good indication that working professionally with an expert who knows the intricacies of our emotional lives.

I have info if you are interested. Message.

So far as the nightmares go see a psychiatrist and get some Prazosin. It works wonders and has few if any side effects. Certainly not habit forming. It just helps with the nightmares. We all know sleep is the cornerstone to good health so you might be surprised if it helps your flashbacks. If nothing else you're rested and can learn to manage your flashbacks using DBT skills. There are several good books out there on DBT skills. I went to an IOP program to learn but they are not difficult and good for anybodies toolbox.

Yup, what Zoe just said is really helping me with my nightmares these days: Prazosin. I took Seroquel in times past, but Prazosin is much better for me.

I'm really against taking medications for it. Partially because my dad took so many pills, partially becaisw we still don't really know all the long term effects of medications, and because I may be pregnant.

Personally, trying to look at nightmares as my mind's way of dealing and coping, and not merely as something to "go away" seems helpful.

I had told myself that I "deserved" to be assaulted by the dance instructor until a nightmare months later showed me that the deliberate, cold execution of the assault at least merited a business complaint. Nightmares and dreams also inspire great works of art, like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

I had to let myself feel the pain of the past to move forward.

Prazosin is ok to take while pregnant. I'm surprised it's not available over the corner. But I respect your decision. You could take it only when you really need some sleep. Sleep is so important. That was the first thing my psych addressed. He was one of these that addressed one problem at a time. Not moving on till we had an issue contained. For someone with my history I take very few meds. My psych had to really work hard to get me to try them. Like you, I didn't want to take any. But they have helped me come to terms and resolve a LOT of problems. I still have a LOT. But not everything can be fixed with a pill. Gentle support and hugs as you work through your problems.

Dsf95 I really like your perspective. While it might hurt, it let's me know my experiences were real and not something I made up like most people think.