Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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today was my first ever 21st century "play date" on behalf of my five year foster daughter. in my first parenting career (80's-90's), parents seldom did more than exchange contact information when classmates got together to play. when the children lived in the same neighborhood, not even that much adult interaction was required. here in the 21st century, it looks like helicopter parenting is required by law. children don't get to have friends unless you date one or both of the parents. i never did well on the romantic dating scene. parental dating? save me, sweet jesus. . . the friend's mother was nice enough, but it was still as awkward as any first date i remember from the 40 years ago i was eligible for romantic dating. my foster daughter hasn't said much yet, but i'm kinda hoping the attempt at friendship doesn't work out. i don't know that i want a second date with her mother. a nice enough person, but i didn't much enjoy the awkward visit.
it is not quite accurate to say this was my first ever "play date." use of that phrase has me feilding flashbacks to the "play dates" of the 60's. i'll bet dollars to wishes i don't have to explain to anybody what a "play date" was to a child prostitute in the 60's. the "fact" is fielding across considerable trauma and time, but i am reasonably confident it was the very same words used as a trade euphemism. i'm finding it hard to untangle the flashbacks from the contemporary reality.
sorting. . . reality checks needed. . .
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Here with you amiga, listening
Gentlest of empathy with the flashbacks, I’m so sorry. When you said at the end reality checks needed, all I could think was her feelings are valid & real <3
I hope that moving forward, the kids can find friends that parents are more like the same style as you. Like maybe being able to just have a friend over for a day or just a little without it having to be a whole hangout session with the parents. Or like parents that would want to maybe rotate like sometimes you can take the kids to the movies (or wherever something like that) & then other times you can drop the kids of when it’s their turn to take the kids for an outing or a friend day.
I don’t know, if anything I’m saying is ridiculous totally disregard it.
I just want you to know I care
Sending you support & many prayers
Gentlest of hugs <3
during my first parenting career, the number one reason i was so available for the children was so that i could avoid the parents. even when i like them as people, parents are a pain in the backside. it is amazing how much a child changes when either parental unit enters the room. even more so when both parents enter the room. back in the bad old days, we often envied one another for the people who got to know the aspects of our children which mom or dad never get to meet, not even when the babies grow up.
so far, here in this brave new 21st century parenting experience, i like parents even less than before. the dating game sucks harder than ever. working to be patient with the process has me cursing god again.
god, please grant me patience. NOW, GODDAMMIT! ! !
is it a bit sad to think of a world where a kid can only have friends if the parents/guardians are on dating terms? for sure i never would have had a friend in my childhood if that were the case.
sigh. . . letting god lead the dance.