Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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Fight or Flight Leaving Uruguay?
mujicaptsd
So the time has come: I leave Uruguay to return to the USA tomorrow. It's been great to revisit the happy places of my youth here. It's been just as great to stare down some of the scary places. Revisiting places where I got PTSD in my youth here as exposure therapy has helped me get past them.
I left here at age 17 traumatized as a war refugee out of my PTSD fight or flight response. That's all I know about leaving a place. But I would like to leave Uruguay on Monday in a better way than that.
I just don't know how to leave a place that doesn't involve fight or flight. Any suggestions on how to say good bye in a better way?
I left here at age 17 traumatized as a war refugee out of my PTSD fight or flight response. That's all I know about leaving a place. But I would like to leave Uruguay on Monday in a better way than that.
I just don't know how to leave a place that doesn't involve fight or flight. Any suggestions on how to say good bye in a better way?
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Big soft hugs and safe voyage blessings to you:-)
I did go to the Montevideo docks Monday morning to say goodbye.
Leaving was good. Thanks for helping me with that. I didn't feel like I was leaving for good at all, just leaving for this time. That thing of sounding like I belonged happened all by itself even in the cab ride to the airport with he driver, a total strangere. It was an overall blessedly uneventful trip except that when I got to Miami, I was so exhausted from the 18 hour trip that somehow in security I lost my passport. Had it in my hand when frisked, but when walked away, couldn't find it. Oh, well, I didn't need it anyway, I was back in the USA. I'll report it lost tomorrow and get a new one.
The last day I was there, some big news broke about the PTSD stuff my generation went through 40 years ago. Uruguay's Benedict Arnold traitor is this guy named Amodio Perez. He was a friend of Mujica's in the resistance 40 years ago. Then when things got hard, he ratted him and Mujica's people out. As a reward the dictator got him citizenship in Spain, a new alias and papers, and money.
Well, Perez came back from Spain just now after 40 years, surprising everybody, with a book he had written about his experiences, figuring he'd cash in and nobody would care now. Wrong. Mujica and many others, including me, were tortured when his treachery helped the dictator win. 28 women were raped because of him. So he was arrested at the end of his fancy press conference, and the Montevideo prosecutor is throwing Perez's own book at him as his a confession of his crimes. He'll get due process, but oh, the richness of irony. In democracy now we have rule of law.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A9ctor_Amodio_P%C3%A9rez
So many did get away with that stuff, something you have to live with when you're left with PTSD. It means something for everybody when this kind of justice happens. I left a much better Uruguay, to be sure.
Ya just had to go and remind me that my passport has expired, didn't ya? Oh well. I haven't asked, but I think my husband likes it better that way.
Healing hopes in progress for all the war-wounded civilians of countries around the world, from the ones who wore uniforms to the ones who had to sleep with bombs in their cribs to the ones who sent a whole father off to war and welcomed home a shell of a father.
May the circle one day be broken
Of violence hatred and shame
A better home could be a-waiting
If we join hands in healing hopes
Anyway, it's good to be back!
Will keep happy thoughts for your passport situation.
BTW, re: Perez. Heh heh. Karma. :-)
I was so lucky to get to go again. Every time I grow a little more, learn a little more, get a little more capable of happiness and peace. Thanks for being a part of that growing process, my DS PTSD amigos. Thanks.