Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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I am sad. I am a single parent and have a 12 year old daughter. I haven't seen her since her birth because my former girlfriend has prevented me from having any contact with her.
I have dealt with a very nasty and cruel Family Court Judge who had treated me harshly and sent me to a horrible court ordered program that emotionally and mentally scarred me as well as spiritually affected me.
As a result, I have been emotionally withdrawn and self destructive. I feel alone. The church hasn't helped me at all. I feel so alone. I have prayed and feel that God doesn't hear me. I am at a job that has taken me away from him and unhappy. I am venting because I am tired of feeling this way and need help.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I flat out tell my kids, that the single most important decision that they'll ever make in their lives...will be who the Other Parent to their children will be. So to be really careful who they ever choose to have sex with.
Probably, at this point, the best you can hope for, is to wait until your daughter is 18 and then try to contact her. But...be prepared. You have no idea what's been said to her, or what she feels. (Jumping to conclusions either way, is a bad mistake.) At that point, the ball will be in her court.
Until then, you might consider making up a "hope box" of sorts. Letters, gifts, things that you'd like her to have...even if she never chooses to have a relationship with you.
You might also think of moving/getting another job. Become a person that you'd like to know. Make yourself strong to handle whatever reaction your daughter might have. Find friends that will support you.
As for being religious...I can only suggest maybe looking into other churches. Some are very personal with everyone knowing each other, and some are more impersonal, etc, etc, etc. Some have really good counseling...and some not so much. Beyond that I really can't advice you, as I'm atheist.
I wish you the best in finding your way. Welcome to the forum, and sorry for what's brought you here, Patti
I've known people on all sides of this issue (was friends with actually a couple girls growing up that seldom saw their fathers, I've known fathers that were pushed out of their kids lives, and I've known mothers that were....less than welcoming of the father's involvement). Needless to say...it's complicated.
Without exception the kids were affected by it all. Angry (to varying extents at different times) with both of their parents. It's biology to BOND to the parent that's raising you. Almost impossible not to. And yet...pushing the other parent out of the picture, is one of the worst things that you can do to a child.
Further complicating your situation, your child is now almost a teen. And teens...well they tolerate their parents on the best days, and flat out want us to disappear the rest of the time (my kids are 14 and 16).
I will not minimize what's been taken from you, but remember...most of your child's life is still ahead of her. If you want to be needed in her life...that may still be possible. You may get to have the parenting experience through helping with grandchildren one day...
My best advice...start with forgiving yourself for whatever you may have done or failed to do that help lead to this situation. LOVE yourself, as you'd have your daughter love herself.
And last, know this. You're far, far, far, far from alone. Many fathers and mothers have gone through this. Truly heartbreaking. I will never forget the look in my friend Russ's eyes as he talked of his two children.
Healing hugs, Patti
It's so harmful
There is a really good and active " Breakups and Divorce' board on here that deals with a lot of issues that revolve around what can happen when people breakup.... They may have some information on this
Big hug of comfort for you and a blessing....xo
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/breakups-divorce