Take one step at a time. You are in a fragile place and you need to take care of yourself. You drive your appointments and you don't need to give them an excuse. Can you get into to see your TDoc or PDoc and discuss why you are so triggered?

I'm sorry Missy. I felt the same about trauma therapy. I was terrified and not interested in talking about it at all. It was for combat-type PTSD. I know what c-PTSD is and I think it's a million times worse. Guess all I mean to say is I understand, and I don't see you as a failure in any stretch of the imagination. No way.

Another thing to keep in mind as well, is though (for me) it feels like I work for my doctor, the truth is, he works for me. I employ him for his time, and he gets paid. So when I feel down or not into seeing him, I just reschedule, usually just saying `I can't make the appointment', and leave it at that.

Here alone and fucked up woth you. I hate myself.... Fight one more day and dont worry about tomorrow

Mojo makes a good point here, lilmiss, about who works for who in our doctor-patient relationships. Don't feel bad about taking care of yourself, ok? You're the one who knows the extent of your symptoms and what's best.

LilMissy, I understand the endless list. I have my own. Sometimes we just need to cancel an appointment when we know it will not be of any benefit. Sharing the triggering of touch is a good idea. Comforting hugs.

Thank you guys so much

So all my appointments for this week are rescheduled & give myself a week to try to get it together & go back in next week for another try

Gracias
Big hug <3

(((( triple hugs )))). So proud of you for recognizing your need for more time, And taking it. You are a woman of perseverance , lilmissy. You are someone here who always inspires me not to ever quit! Triple hugs more

Gracias Evergreen <3

Hi.
We are here for you. One day at a time. For now you woke up this morning and got out of bed to have breakfast and use the restroom and for that I am proud of you.

Big hug sweetie..... If you need to reschedule then that's what you should do....

With regards to what the doctors will think I don't think that he/she will be surprised at all.....Teeth grinding is or jaw clenching is a pretty regular sign of stress....

You can always write a note to give the doctor before you go and simply hand it to him if you're uncomfortable talking about it...…

Take good care of you.... xo

you cant tell the doctors or they will say u are mentally ill
you cant tell law enforcement or they will report you maybe and you could be held for three days or longer also remember that law enforcement is involved so if one of them hears they can make it worse

If you tell the Dr. why you keep rescheduling that could be a brave step forward.
If you go to the appointment and let the Dr. know that they can't touch you but you showed up anyhow. Would that help you?
You are the one in charge and they work for you.
You can leave at any time during an appointment.
Would taking someone with you help?
There may be more options other than going or not going.

I was held for 3 days after members of a meditation group I joined to calm my PTSD called the sheriff on me because my combat trauma story upset then, greggg, so I know from personal experience what you're talking about. They did it on a Friday night so there was only a skeleton crew on duty at the hospital and just in case they had me stripped and in restraints on a gurney shot up with Haldol all weekend while I waited for my court hearing Monday to get my freedom.

Wow, was my psychiatrist ticked off in court on Monday. It nearly made the whole ordeal worthwhile to hear him rip everybody a new one saying I was just as sane as anybody in that courtroom and that they were the crazy ones if they thought treating somebody like that was helping their PTSD from abuse. So what you say is true, greggg, and yet there has been a post-apocalyptic chapter for me in that my psychiatrist and I have been closer than ever and I found the right place to talk about coping with PTSD safely--here.