An ex FBI agent teaches criminal justice classes at my community college in his retirement from the FBI. As luck would have it, in the 1980s he was a board member at a church my abusive dad pastored. So he doesn't know of the wife beating and child beating, and then how my dad became a missionary to 4 war zones and repeatedly nearly got us killed.

For example, driving the family car into downtown combat on an insane family outing for ice cream he forced us into (!!) despite the obvious danger. In that outing, our family car was hit by a Molotov cocktail with us in it, which is one of the incidents that gave me combat PTSD to go with the family domestic violence PTSD.

The family doesn't tell him these stories, of course, so this ex FBI agent just called me on their behalf to tell me my mother is ill and to try to get me back involved with my toxic family. I told him I'd pray for them but I'm in hands off mode, so that's it. He seemed crestfallen but hung up. I hoped he'd send the message back that I stand clear on my boundaries in my 5th year of breaking off family contact.

Not being sure, after a breather I called him back and told him not to make such calls again in the future. He used to do it on my phone at work, and I got a lawyer and complained to HR that it was workplace harassment, so he knows better.. Yet here he was on my home cell phone doing it again.

Sure enough, when I reminded him not to make such calls, he argued, saying I was no Christian if I didn't respond to my family as he wanted me to do. I told him that's for God to explain to him in the hereafter, and that I'm actually the peacemaker in the family and the one who is the real Christian. That there were things he didn't know about my family and since he wanted to carry on his relationship with them, I didn't want to tell him.

That I wouldn't interfere in his family this way, and for him to respect that I am drawing a boundary about my business not being his business, therefore, in the same way.

That in the Bible there are actually stories in the family of Abraham and of Joseph that tell of families like mine and people like me being not sinful, but actually the Godly ones in toxic families that abused them.

That he doesn't have to understand that, but that he and I can be colleagues, I can be happy at the college and safe there, and yet that he know he is not to contact me meddling in my family again even if there's a death in my family. It's not his place.

He just said an angry goodbye and hung up, but boy, was I ready for that conversation. Being on DS PTSD really prepared me to be the voice of reason and the civil minding of one's own business in the matter. I'm a little shaken up by the phone call from the blue, but not shaken up to the core, like I used to be before I came here and got DS PTSD support for breaking with my family.

Since I did that 5 years ago now, my life have slowly but surely gotten better, without PTSD relapses caused by repeated contact with abusive family members. I want to keep it that way, so again I ask for your support, with thanks.