This week a couple of people wanted to know what was special about DS PTSD, and I told them it was that here we have empathy, not sympathy. For me the difference means a lot. Empathy tells me somebody includes themselves and me in talking about the suffering in the human condition. I'm kind of allergic to sympathy.

Maybe it's my pride, but it's also experiences I've had. The people who felt sorry for me with sympathy and pity usually turned on me down the line because I didn't "get over it." The people who extended empathy wouldn't dare because "there but for the grace of God" they could be in my shoes--or had been already.

The two people really got upset with me. One of them, an older lady, actually got angry to the point of tears at my judging good people like her who only wanted to help and give me their sympathy. The other one, a young man, was enraged and actually said he preferred sympathy to hearing somebody claim to have empathy and then tell him some story about what happened to them.

I was so taken aback I wished I'd kept my mouth shut. I've been thinking it over all week, though, and I'm still pretty sure I spoke truly about how I felt for myself about empathy vs. sympathy. I just might have been better off keeping my experience to myself. It's just that empathy has been pretty much the only thing that's ever helped me, so I'm really sold on empathy and not sympathy, just speaking for myself. I get healing empathy here.

Anybody else care about the difference between empathy & sympathy?