Our daughter is nearly 30 years old,  single and very smart with a good paying job.   I suspect she has been doing cocaine for years,  perhaps since high school,  but she apparently stopped in April.   This is when we found out she was doing coke.   Anyway,  her attitude has rapidly changed over the past 6 months and now my husband and I are the target of her emotional out bursts and mood swings.  She is currently not talking us.   I have suggested she see a counsellor many times  but she says no way.   I am worried as she has talked to friends about suicide and is very down and depressed.   

Her new boyfriend does not believe in therapy and says he people can handle it themselves,  so he is useless.   Actually I am not sure he is not part of the problem.   He smokes a ton of pot and now so does our daughter.   He says it more like medicine,  but it seems to be effecting her mood,  anxiety and depression.   I am worried he is emotionally abusive. 

I am almost done my program to become a social worker,  just have 2 placements to do and holy crap,  I have no idea what to do.   Everything I have done so far has made things far worse.   I don't think social work is going to be my calling.   I am failing at it horribly and I know the situation, and person.   I know I am not suppose to counsel someone I know that is why I keep asking her to find someone to help her but she refuse.   However,  by now I should be about to commuicate with her and help calm the situation,  but everythiing I try makes it worse.   I am losing her and suck as a counsellor.   

I am not sure what I am good at,  I suck as counsellor,  I suck at communications,  I suck as mom,   I suck at every thing I do.  I make things worse and worse and people hate me.  Even my own daughter now.   I have zero friends.   

I am so worried about her and just keep failing her.   I cannot seem to connect with her.   I am not sure why but I just have this overwhelming urge to grab a knife into my upper leg.