Suicide is not an option. It is cowardly and hurts the people around you. I just know I can't live like this

Welcome, it sound like you were in service? We all can relate to that jumping and floor thing at times. Though for many different reasons.

11b 82nd airborne

Not Important. I got to fucking fly home. A lot of them didn't. Had a friend die in my arms from an IED. I don't think he was in pain. Fucked me up decent though.

Lilly, I wasnt meaning to reply to you and say what you said was not important.

I appreciate you saying something.

Hi and welcome. I'm not on that much due to the fact that my issues are more to do with sexual abuse but I do want to welcome you to the group and express my heartfelt sorrow for your pain and respect for your service. I think you will find a lot of support here. Just to not be alone with something so alienating as ptsd makes a huge difference.

Welcome gnheekin
I hope you get the support that you need.
Thank you for all that you have done.

I'm just a kid.

I am here partly from my first husbands reactive PTSD from Vietnam. He was 101st Airborne, he would have been the one flying in under fire to retrieve and guard those like your friend. Earned 2 purple hearts and PTSD from it. I learned a lot of it from his black outs and was mistaken for those that attacked him.

He flew home at 23, finally "Home" at 50ish, after a lot of years of counseling.

As I'm fond of saying ... I'm sorry for why you're here (that you have PTSD), but glad that you ARE here.

As to Xanax and booze ?? I'd guess most of us understand. I'd guess many of us have tried pretty similar self-medication regimens. I doubt anybody will judge you for it.

I'd also guess that you know that the booze .... doesn't hold up very well under the "risk-reward" analysis.

But that's not judging you. I promise.

If my liver hadn't gotten damaged, last Christmas, by prescription meds, prescribed to treat chronic pain AND symptoms of Complex PTSD ... heck .... I'd probably have a couple of cocktails every night, right now.

One of the great things about this group -- one of many -- is that ... we didn't all get our PTSD the same way, but we DID all get PTSD.

I wasn't in your shoes ... thank God.

But I've got my story, too, and -- though I'm still not legally allowed to go public with it -- it's no picnic, either.

Which means .... however open you're ready to be ... whenever you're ready to be open ... you'll be understood here -- understood and supported.

Welcome. Good too meet you ... considering the circumstances :-)

For me? It 's shouting that freaks me out...my ex- spouse was giving me panic attacks daily at one point.
I was traumatized starting at 4, so varying levels of anxiety and triggeriness are just the way things are. But I am not suffering from PTSD too much these days. I find it comes and goes.
It WILL get better, I promise.

I can relate. That is my diagnosis of PTSD, jumping at a sound, too much stimulation. There's more to it than that, of course. I fought like a tiger to not take meds, but I realized after a good therapist that we are like people iwith diabetes. You have to get it under control. The meds helped; I needed to take them. I didn't drink much. Don't have the capacity or the genetics, but lately I have been and after my Mom died I did. I hope it's a phase with you, or maybe you're not on the proper meds. I know that my life right now is beyond any bad I could have imagined, so I allow myself a beer. I'm sending good thoughts for your healing. I hope you have a good therapist who can help you with your issues. I don't have one now. So....All things good I wish and hope for you. There is a "better" to PTSD. I lived it for years until certain other things happened. I hope you find the "better."

Hi, welcome to DS, there are some good people here that understand what you have been through. I drink a 2-3 glasses of wine slowly most days to settle anxiety and whirling thoughts though rarely getting drunk. I refuse to be judged for this, its my choice and helps me get through the day. After having horrendous side effects from pharmaceuticals when I was mis-diagnosed bipolar, I have less side effects and more benefits from the wine. However, I also work on healing & self development, and meditation and CBT. If you feel its doing more harm than good maybe it would be a different thing and worth getting help with. Good luck.