Hi findingme. Welcome to the PTSD forum. I feel like I am missing huge parts of the background to this post, but that's okay. The background is yours to reveal at whatever speed and order you are comfortable with. Healing is about as personal as journeys get.

Welcome to the forum. Hope you find healing companionship here.

Hi welcome to the group. Living with PTSD is tough for all of us but there is hope. I hope you find what your looking for here and make lots of friends along the way. Keep looking forward.

Scott

gentle hugs and welcome, i'm Lilly

Hi, I'm new to this forum too. Please know that we are here to listen and support you in anyway you need.

Hello! Yeah, I didn't even know I had PTSD until it got so bad I nearly ended up hospitalized. (I don't have a "pre-trauma" life.) I just wore out, basically. It's odd to have this "shift" in my "self", so to speak. Healing hopes to all, and share what and when as you want:-)

Hey everyone thank you for the love and support. My background for what I'm dealing with currently is on October 18, 2014 my sister Hope, her four children Dom, autumn, Reni and Tori Ages then 7, 6, 3, 2 were murdered in a house fire. it has been extremely difficult to live with. Hard to concentrate on some days. Some days not wanting to even face the day but manage to. I know you all know what I'm saying even though I feel I am rambling.

Ouch. Gentlest of condolences, findi. That is allot to lose.

Grief is a toughie that can drag out endlessly in endlessly creative ways. Allot of the grief discussions in this forum are about grieving lost ideals, ideals we never got to own in the first place, etc. I, strictly personal, believe that grief is grief, regardless of who and/or what I am grieving. It is how we process that grief which varies immensely. Just my personal belief.

Gentle support while you find what it is to you, findi. Hope healing happens here. Sort freely. Sort often.

Prayers (by whatever name) in progress for Hope, Dom, Autumn, Reni and Tori. You are missed.

Thank you arfie. I have had a few days and yesterday at church a much needed clarity for things happening in life at the moment. Some days are easier than other although there hasn't been a day that passed where I haven't felt the pain or heard the events of that day replay in my head. One day at a time or well one moment at a time on some days. Hope you are having a wonderful day!

That's rough, I'm sorry. A lot of us here are struggling with abusive pasts. That ones a toughie. But we're here for you nonetheless. My aunt was murdered by her husband and it shattered three generations. Hopefully enough healing can happen in your family that that doesn't happen to you.

Precious I am sorry to hear that. I too have dealt with an abusive past in many ways. It is very hard to live with and effects us in ways we don't even realize at first. I decided a couple months ago to write a book and it has been such a freedom for me. There is such a free feeling in writing it is a place to just be open and raw without having to filter what you want to say to someone. One of the best decisions I feel that I could make. I will be done in the next couple weeks. Yea I never wish such a day for anyone to have to bury 5 people at once and four of them children. To find out that someone delibertly did it changed me as a person I was filled with anger for quite sometime.

Finding me, I wish I could ... Um, well, I wish I could say I didn't have family members who didn't do what was done to your family. But I do. My dad's younger sister killed their youngest brother when they were adults, and that's nto the first time someone was killed on purpose and.... Well, let's just say, I wake up screaming a lot. Sometimes from fears of my own DNA. Sometimes b/c the phone rang and I am scared "they" found me or it's bad news again. My sister's death was 25 yearse ago last week, and that.... Yeah... So.... I have nothing coherent but support. Some pain just cuts so deep you have to scream, so scream here. Much soft puma purrs.

I, too, find great cathartic benefit in writing. Perhaps even more than in sharing about it. Perhaps. Most of the time I think the writing and sharing go together like soap and water. The writing puts all the bubbles to work and the sharing helps me rinse away the dirt with the bubbles.

Or am I just waxing poetic again? Bubbling babbles?

It's allot to process, findi. Steadying support while you process.