dw, do you think we can row the other way?

yeah, that's a big part of the job, remaining detached.

your guy is letting you get a whole lot of stuff out of the way - that's what it sounds like, and it sounds like it is working too. like you are making progress and getting to a place when you are experiencing this terror of some unknown something. some impossible to believe could not have happened something.

this is not easy, not simple, this is the difficult part,

hugs

Sounds like anxiety attacks. I've had a few. It feels terrible. I'd say you might try working with a therapist of the opposite sex. If you are female, get a male therapist. If male, get a female therapist. I say this because a therapist of the opposite sex not only can help because of their skills but may force you to look at things differently than you might otherwise.

You were abused. Whether it be emotional, mental,or physical abuse it's less than nurturing when we trust people we feel our reality is not what we thought it was. It's fearful and we feel alone and isolated I had sexual abuse by a neighbor. He molested me and I trusted him you are not alone is your pain that's good that you express it. It helps others

pfeifferjan, i have been hearing more and more about anxiety attacks. i guess they are presently intensifying. seems like. funny you should say what you do about therapists. i have been working with a female therapist (i'm male), for 3 and a half years, but we agreed that i need more intensive help and i just began an intensive program. my therapist now is male.

swtness, i always feel this horrible thing lurking inside. as a part of the intensive program i'm in, there is a DBT class. little unexpected things lately have been pushing me into intense emotion. i have a horrible feeling that i might discover something pretty bad adn i feel like i will not be able to handle it. but when the class was over this evening, i kept feeling like saying, sorry everyone, i've been lying. i'm just a fake. i don't have a problem. i made everything up. that of course must be untrue itself, but it seemed so real anyway, that i am just a liar. but something must be wrong because i'm a lifelong self harmer.