Aw, sweetie. This guy sounds awful! and no you dont deserve such treatment and no its not all your fault. There are things out of our control.
Have you tried to leave him before?
I can imagine it can be scary as he sounds intimidating. But you dont deserve that, and no need to apologize.
I hope you can find some strength to leave him, if thats what your truly considering. You dont need to suffer under his verbal abuses...

I have tried to leave but I fall right back in to his I love you I'm change it will get better. But it never does. I can't have this feeling any more I'm want to leave this earth. The pain.

so sorry, sending you gentle hugs.
Have you considered counselling? to help leave him.
Breaking up is never easy especially in such a manipulative relationship. I hope you break the pattern, and find some new air to breathe. You deserve so much more. Please keep reaching out, and finding support where ever You can. And know your not alone, You have strength to survive this...
if anything im supporting you =)
not sure if my words helped! but hope they did.

Thank you your words do help it means alot. I am seeking out side help to.

Out, quickly, please? You are NOT alone. My dad had me programmed to self-destruct, my sister did, and guys like tha t---- they start with charm, and end with harm, every time. Keep looking for a safe and solid way forward, b/c that's not love. It's not *respect*. And you can't *turst*.

I loved my dad, but without respect or trust or safety? He was worthless except as a teacher. My sister didn't learn the lesson, and died young. Depending on what men said or thought or (fill in blank). She was never free.

Let yourself be free *in life*, okay? Free *and alive*. I know I'm not the person to lecture or offer advice, b/c my background is crap, but... I see this and I offer what I can, which is: Get out safe and solid and *alive*, okay? Step by step. One breath at a time. It can be done. A lot of us here escaped a lot of nasty-as-he** situations, abusive, etc., and ... It is possible and you can enjoy life and be valued as you deserve.

Peace, safety, hope....

He's a trainwreck. You didn't create the mess that he is, and as much as you may love him...you can't fix him.

The best thing that you can do for EITHER of the two of you...is leave.

I walk 9n egg shells because of this man. Scard that I might make him mad. I lost everything because I stayed with him and my ex husband is a messed up person. Why do I keep getting with guts that don't love me truly. I'm not lovable I guess I get used and played and beat to almost death. I have to go. Thank you all .

How to put it:

Wanting to do something and having the skills for it are two different things.

My five year olds wanted to drive the car. They did. They weren't lying, they truly, absolutely would have loved to.

But they didn't have the skills to do it.

This guy may truly love you (or he may not...I'm not in his head and don't know).

But...that doesn't matter. He's PROVEN that he doesn't have the relationship skills necessary to BE in a relationship. Hitting and telling someone to kill themselves are BOTH independently deal breakers. At that point, there's no talk that will fix it.

If HE wants to fix HIMSELF...he might be able to do that, but not while he's in a relationship. He'll have to get single, and work on his thought processes, views on responsibility, etc, etc. This isn't work that he can do while he's in a relationship, because he will blame you, and never work on himself.


I can't tell you "why", but I can guess. You probably look past his actions and into his heart. I don't doubt that he has a good heart...but he has to walk the walk or he'll keep striking out instead of learning and growing.

Steele, he is a textbook case of an abuser. I am in the codependency (under addictions) here, as many, self included, have faced the same situation. He has beaten you down over almost 2 years. Honeymoon (so sorry and never again), followed by tension building (walking on eggshells), followed by the abuse; then the cycle repeats again and again. Here for you Steele. Many comforting hugs.

That's my problem I see only in his heart but I can't any more the stuff he says is really messing with my head. He called this morning and said oh I was just calling to see if u were still alive. I was like wow. Really he said yep and then went on blaming me for stuff that was said last night because I said some stuff after he said alot if hurtful shit. I hung up this morning and before that I said its over I can't do this any more.

Thank you all you guy really help me keep going.

No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship.... No one ever!!…. There's always a honeymoon period after until the next cycle and there is always another one coming sweetie

I'm going to put up some crisis resources for you..... Talking to people from a domestic violence hotline might be a help to you..... Gentle hug.....xo

https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207430776-What-if-I-need-emergency-help-

No. Your question was "do I really need him" and as a guy let me tell you that the answer is just simply "no."

Why do I care about some one who does not care about me or says they do but won't show it in a loving way.

That last is a damn good question, and one I've never answered. I loved my dad, who couldn't love me back b/c he just didn't have it in there... He had good parts to his heart, but ... Well, that was a huge "BUT!"... He was raging, moody, explosively angry, controlling... Mean... A good heart is a good heart, but when it's buried ina box under all that other stuff? The heart isn't the point. The actions are....

And he may care, but hey, my dad cared about me. He also cared about his favorite sports team, his truck, and the dogs.

You care because your heart wants to love and wants to feel love. That's all I can figure, from my experience. And, frankly, my dad's idea of showing love sounds similar to your man's. "You know I lvoe you, right?" he said .... after we buried mysister. Yeah. I know. Really. We'd just buried someone who'd literally died hoping to hear that. And he never said that word or treated me better etc. so... Yeah.

He has to be willing to learn and grow and *be* that potentially good being he may be. Otherwise... He's a no-go, and it's time to let go, and let him be toxic far away from *you*, so you can heal, okay?