Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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Desperate to be cared for, for affection, for love

HLW
HLW

Hi,


Does anyone else have a desperate need to be cared for, to have safe affection, to be loved?

arfie
arfie
hello HLW. welcome to ds. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

yes, i feel that desperate need on a fairly routine basis, alongside several other desperate needs. it be the desperation i ply therapy tools to. in my own case, desperation creates unrealistic distortions and expectations. it is nearly impossible for me to have a realistic view of my actual needs until i calm the desperation.

but that is me and every case is unique. . .

gentle support while you sort your own case. you are not alone.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
Sure. I told my childhood story about it on your other thread here that bore the title "Help". You're not alone with this, as arfie says.
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Yes. It's human, and for survivors of trauma, a very troubling paradox sometimes ---- wanting to be cared for, but having trouble trusting others in my case!
Beryl367
Beryl367
Hi HLW, welcome to the group. I think the desire is still there, but I wouldn't say it rises to the level of desperation, though more likely it did when I was a child.
I've kind of gotten comfortable with it being just me and God and my practically an adult kiddo. I don't come from a family that physically expresses affection much, so the "fake" hugs at extended family assemblies are just that. I come from a family that had multiple cases of CSA (and spanning more han 2 generations), and I was one of the victims, so honestly I'm still working on fixing my brain from those experiences (and others) and it probably interferes with my motivation to seek affection, familial, fraternal, or otherwise. Honestly, I know God loves me (well, loves everybody, really), and I figure for now that's enough for me. (But, it's not like I wouldn't like to have more friends or a boyfriend/husband, it's just that what I have now is the limit of what I can handle and still feel like the situation is safe....)

Wishing you peace and much success in your journey.
mtd
mtd
I used to think I needed those things, now not so much. Loving yourself needs to come first. You would be amazed at what you do and don’t need when you truly appreciate yourself.
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