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Dealing with triggers ~ Ideas for removing one?

Caballita
Caballita
During the day I always have to have the louvres fully retracted out of sight and I throw open all the curtains even though that means EVERYONE in the neighbourhood can see into the house...

It's an on-going "battle" with hubby... He lowers the louvres and tilts them so no-one can see IN... I do the opposite so I can see OUT... rofl.

Well, today after I had "fixed" the louvres I stopped to THINK what do these louvres remind me from the past that I feel AFRAID of... WHY am I reacting to them??? I tried used Pete Walker's "Flashback Management Tips" to make sense of my inexplicable anxiety/fear of drawn blinds/tilted louvres...

OMG... when I was little my main traumatiser used to draw the curtains just before they started... every single time... They were trying to make sure no-one could see what they were doing...

Hmmm! So since I've identified a very clear trigger/flashback... are there some ways I can defeat this reaction?

Just knowing this reaction IS an emotional flashback/trigger IS interesting... but yeah, I'm STILL "afraid" of drawn curtains, louvres etc... In fact I'm possibly MORE nervous now I know the "why" because I now have a very clear recollection as to WHY I'm afraid and uncomfortable of them... arghhhh!
gramybear
gramybear
Maybe if you look at this as a wonderful revelation and a learning tool to help you overcome your fear. Maybe start out very slowly with the louvers only closed partially, and work a little closer each day, Maybe even come to a compromise with your hubby to have them half drawn instead of all the way open or all the way closed. Hugs GB
arfie
arfie
In my personal recovery, identifying the trigger is the hard part. Once I know what I am reacting to, solutions seem to materialize all around me. Yea, the new awareness makes the feelings more acute for a while, but after I give the awareness time to process, the solutions are already in motion.

You and your husband sound like my favorite sister and I. Between the two of us, we tease that it is claustrophobia vs. agoraphobia. I fear entrapment. Claustrophobia. I want wide open spaces so that I can see what is coming and have plenty of reaction time. I don't like night lights because I cannot see into their shadows. Night vision has a much longer scope than electric lights. My blinds are always up.

My sister is agoraphobic. She wants to hide from the world and is not even remotely interested in seeing beyond her own light. Day or night, she mostly wants to be unseen. Her blinds are always down.

For what it is worth... Is it not amazing how many transfigurations something as common as blinds and lights can take???
Caballita
Caballita
HUGS Gramy! Look for a suitable compromise ~ AWESOME!

BIG hugs Arfie! That is exactly it...

Hubby has PTSD and is agoraphobic if there are people around... he likes to stay away from people as much as possible... so hiding IS his comfort.

I'm PTSD with claustrophobia so I need to feel like I can escape and get out of rooms mentally if not physically, lol... Luckily I also prefer staying away from people as much as possible but my solution to that is to RUN... especially to wild, isolated spots where no-one is around...

This is where the luck comes in ~ Wild, isolated spots are great for hiding... whilst being in the open! LOL

Hmmm! So I wonder if putting that mirrored film you can see through but outside people can't see IN... THAT would solve the tussle, maybe...

I can't/won't/shouldn't fix any other blind/curtain/louvres I come across but at least now I'm aware that they MAY make me uneasy... and that is okay (acceptance). The ones in the house I CAN influence and if I'm not comfortable I can change them to make myself happier... while not freaking out poor hubby, lol.

Thank you to you BOTH! Mwah
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