Hi Sarai. Welcome to the forum. You sure did come to the right place for talking about those damned flashbacks that just won't go away and the wish to make them go away. Yucky, sucky, downright fucky problem, to put it mildly.

Alas, it seems like the more nasty names and rejectful wishes I throw at my own flashbacks, the more intense and persistent they become. It's like they thrive on the abuse, or something! As they grow in intensity and persistence, they distort and shoot off into ever weirder shapes and off-shoots.

The good news is that there is a diversity of solutions to the dilemma. You just took a step toward those solutions by making this post and starting the dialogue within a group who of folks with real-time experience with it. No degrees or expert licenses. Just experience and a willingness to share.

Welcome aboard, Sarai. Hope you find healing companionship here.

I'm so sorry you for what you have been through and what you are going through now.

Are you in therapy? It sounds like you could really benefit from the support of a therapist.

I don't know how to make flashbacks go away, but I think processing in therapy might help. Sharing here and getting support from other people can help you feel less alone with it. Welcome.

Hi Saria welcome. Sorry what your going through. Flashbacks don't really go away. But in therapy you will learn to be able to valiadate and learn necessary tools to help you through the healing prosses. I would highly recomend therapy. With out it, it will get worse over time. BIG HUGS!

Scott

Sorry for what brings you here but this is a good place to talk about it. About the only thing I've found that helps flashbacks is continuing to talk about them....i.e. exposure therapy. If you don't have a therapist you might want to think about it. They can be really helpful.

Hi and Welcome Sarai.....I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time.... I ditto what the others have said.... I'm glad that you've found us.... Gentle hug....xo

I lost my dad in 1999 and I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you are going through, the pain of not being able to find yourself because you didn't have time to spend with your parents. But let me tell you this, there is hope, there is life and there is joy. Remembering that your mom gave you life is a huge reward that she gladly did. She loved you and she gave you 10 amazing years, remembering the good times is what heals us. When my dad passed away I had to forgive myself because I didn't have a close relationship with him, that is very hard but maybe why you are feeling the remorse that keeps your memory going back to that time. I had to give thanks to my dad for giving me life so that I could carry a positive to future to those who I love very much. You can do the same, by sharing the joys you remember with others around you.

Thank you everybody for the support and kind words from you all. And to answer you guys advice I would totally be down to do therapy but y insurance only covers 6 visit and I used them all already.

So sorry therapy's not there for you, Sarai. It really helped me. I'm dealing with flashbacks today, but most days I don't because of the good PTSD specialist I got to do therapy with. Much support to you.