I've had a few dreams shattered, a couple friendships threatened, and my decade of patient advocacy ended. I cry a lot, sleep little, and really wish everyone would go back inside so I can take a walk in the woods, basically.

My coping mechanisms are overused, to say the least. Still. Hugs. Playing with the pets. Cooking. And I just let the negative emotions hit. They come. They go. If they stick around, I let my therapist know, and use that "safety net" or whatever one likes to call it of having one person who will nod and listen even if what I say is silly (to anyone but me, at least).

Like Leo, I've had a dream shattered, too. In March I rented a little house in Mexico to live in all summer from May to August but have been kept from it by pandemic travel bans. Living there all summer was in order to prepare for retiring there for good next year.

Since I grew up there and in Uruguay, I've been looking forward to returning to Latin America for 40 years as my reward for committing to becoming a Spanish teacher in 1980. Now I go day seeing policies change day by day at the border.

Yesterday it looked like I might get to my Mexican house come September. But today the Arizona newspaper reports the Mexican state of Sonora has closed its side of the border to non-essential travel (me) again. And so it goes day after day, and I write that rent check at the first of each month for nothing.

Returning has to do with my PTSD recovery because I got PTSD as a missionary kid in Mexico and Uruguay. Returning was part of my PTSD therapist's exposure therapy for me. It's how I found out when I went back in 2009 from my little group of former elementary school alums about the pedophile who had preyed on us. He'd finally been tried, convicted, and imprisoned, news that really was a big turning point in my recovery.

Not being able to keep in touch with those others who are recovering there like me is a real obstacle to my PTSD recovery now. I'm having a hard time with the day by day border uncertainty.

I have had some pretty angry thoughts at times as well.... I think that the anxiety can get to us

Gratitude is spot on in my mind!!... I love to feel grateful and there sure is a lot for me to feel grateful for.... Thanx for the reminder!!... Big hug....xo

I had my dreams shattered in 2017 and I ended up PTSD the way and how it happened. That stress brought out other mental illnesses because I lots all coping mechanisms at the same time. Basically my life ended in 2017 and I am still picking up the pieces.

good topic, thanks. We have all be affected by this. Yes, some of you speak of shattered dreams... i had that happen this year as well. Nothing TOO earth shattering - yet to me, it was a huge disappointment. I was to go to Virginia the last week of April to visit a few plant nurseries, one in particular, that I have been wanting to visit. I was planning to take a few days in that area and stay at an Airbnb. A big deal for me, really, as I am a homebody most of the time. Then when I was done I was going to visit my parents a few hours away as my mother's 81st birthday was May 1. Well. Covid hit and no one could travel anywhere as u know! I was just so, so upset about it. I finally did get to go last week to visit my parents. But the rest of the stuff is on hold of course. I know this is affecting everyone. And I know I am very fortunate in a lot of ways, i still have my job and home, etc., i have not been sick, etc. I am depressed though because it seems it (virus) won't "go away" any time soon and it's a major life changer for us all. Since coming home from Virginia last week I feel increasing depression and anxiety about life. Just glad to be able to share all this in a safe place, thank you! I will be lurking.....