Is your daughter aware of your current lack of employment? Have you led on that you're more than fine or tight but ok? Not that your financial situation is anyones business but your own, I'm just curious how someone can ask a recently unemployed mom for money. Is the money getting paid back in a decent time frame? Yes we kinda have to to help out where we can while our kids are students, well have to is kinda strong, it's nice to be ABLE to help out where we can but some students do it on their own so it's a privledge not a right on your daughters part. I think if you were clear and articulate with your reasons for not handing over cash when you're concerned for your own future, especially for a trip, like you said, not essentials then I can't see anything you've done wrong. This sounds like a pivotal moment to hold your ground and teach her a life lesson with love. You're right telling her off won't do anything but keeping to your guns sans the harsh words will teach her how to treat you in the future when and if this comes up again. You're doing alright, you even have the entitled daughter to prove it. Keep up with what you're doing, ok?

Kids! You are going through a hard time and your daughter wants some 'extra' money, to enjoy vacation. "extra"? She wants your survival money to use as 'extra' fun money. ( I have 2 adult daughters myself.). Tell her bf as soon as you have some extra money you will let her know. She is being very selfish and I see nothing wrong with telling her that. Just nicely leave her a message that working can provide her with the extra money she needs and she needs to learn to live within her means. The reality is, you would like to have some extra money yourself. Perhaps she can take an extra shift and help you out financially. That's what love means.

Dear Op,
Maybe you could just tell her that you just don't have extra money for extra things as you are having a hard time for your own responsibilities right now. It's okay to tell her you're sorry for snapping, but you perhaps you were surprised that she'd even ask for money for a trip! Besides the fact, maybe the strike will end and she needs to be there? I don't know, but it does seem she just needs to understand a few things! Don't beat yourself up, let her know you just want to protect her when you see a potential problem ahead and for her to be aware of it (her BF 's drinking). You obviously love her and just try to get back to that. Communication is the hardest! Prayers for you all.

Big hug for you Spiral.... I agree with what the others have said.... I'd say I was sorry for snapping at her but that you're struggling right now.... A trip is a luxury item.... xo

Thanks. Dad gave her money for her trip. She said sorry.

Spiral, maybe her dad gave her money for her trip, and maybe she said sorry, but you (maybe) still (maybe) feel (maybe) left alone (maybe) with your emotions which will return unless a plan is put in place. See, people (people generally) have a tendency at such a gathering of events, to have the same patterns that will repeat the same event, unless the patterns are simply nudged a little bit. The nudging can be done in a very bonding experience, if you'll take a step back now (in your mind), take in a breath, and realize, what you really wish is a) the nudging, b) so as to not repeat, c) the bonding is a huge, big, worthy experience for both of you, possibly enjoyed enough of both of you so as to cause point a and point b, by momentum (using momentum for the advantage of both of your "gladly" putting some sort of nudging each other in place because mom's "workably not sad sometimes" like two volleyball players side by side)

A chat about the dynamics of your selling product could be had on the basis of "I need a favor, not to manipulate you, but so I'm not alone with what I'm feeling. We're the only ladies around at the current minute, and I love you, and I need closeness more than anything right now, because maybe then you could maybe brainstorm with me because like sand on the beach the waves are eroding my having bright and shiny days."

Take your time, Spiral, let the words sink in, because if the words "are who you really actually are," then the solution likewise arrives like a magnet. If the words are not (not) who you are, not even close, then maybe the input assists the idea bright and shiny days are also a "vocabulary" option you have, for some not-so-bad bonding, brainstorming, or even an idea pops in her head when she's not around. I'm not saying I give good advice, I'm just saying others posted also and sometimes a handful of words (vocabulary) can be useful (next week even). You know what's useful because what's useful "often sticks" (like you worked on a jigsaw puzzle a long time, and you know when you found the next piece, because you've wished the next piece, and so if someone's input sticks, you know why, because you're on a figurative jigsaw puzzle and you've wished the next few pieces and sometimes they fit). You should also feel proud because a mom's love cannot be topped, really, and I can see you eagerly wish protecting her from things, same as my mom. I miss my mom. She died. I could have asked, or I could've been told, ways to be nicer to my mom, and I think the vocabulary of your "bright and shiny days being eroded like waves on a beach erode" could possibly tempt your daughter to a form of girl-to-girl partnering in a small way, against the erosion. Remember, the planet's rotating more than 900 miles per hour. I'm talking about "the human experience" I didn't give enough to my mom, on a rock's spinning more than 900 miles per hour. Maybe your daughter's not ready for such a thought yet, but I wish I had thought of such things earlier in life, for a mother for her experiencing also a human experience of a fully attentive son. Now, I found one human who provided when I was doomed by violent longterm stalker events, and my PTSD reactive crap pushed her away slightly by my reacting with words "bigger than the situation called for." The bonding is a worthy effort, and maybe the next post has vocabulary for you to measure in your mind and emotions, too, to see what is natural to you, nearly tugging you as "the next puzzle piece at the jigsaw puzzle."