Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

10,127 Members
27,615 Posts
0 Online
Anxiety Disorders
/ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Dark thoughts and looking for support

Kate1976
Kate1976

Gave a friend a ride home last night.  He could hardly walk after drinking too much.  He decided to walk back to my car with me after I drove him home in his car.  I asked him a few times not to walk behind me.  I can’t even handle my child walking behind me.  He is much bigger than I am and I was very concerned he might fall and hurt himself.  He kept telling me to walk in front of him and laughing.  I told him to leave, but right now, I just feel broken and want to disappear.  I hate who I am.  I hate having ptsd.  Worse I am thinking hard about suicide and looking for a time I won’t have the kids.  Just asking for support in this tough time from you all.  Used the suicide chat line last night.

arfie
arfie
Offering a steadying cyber-shoulder to lean on right after I finish anesthetizing the drunken fool. Turn your head, Hon. You don't need to see how anesthetize drunken fools. I'll just be a moment.

Be gentle with yourself while you recover from the incident.
Beatha
Beatha
Since arfie already completed the job of anesthetizing the drunken fool....

Sending you lots of gentle support. Please, stay safe and take care of yourself, Kate. Hugs
patti22
patti22
Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting him home.

( Yesterday my daughter was hit by a car. She's fine. Bicycle is fine. But it was a bad scare.)
tonisora
tonisora
We are here for you if you need to vent or chat or make faces or cry. Whatever you need. Be kind to yourself, Drink water, eat food, take a bath, clean your space and meditate. take slow deep breathes. Call the crisis line again if you need to. You can get through this. We are right here beside you.
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Kate, this is about a drunk. Your act of kindness turned on you. Right now, you are home and you are safe. The flare up was just that: a PTSD flare up. Albeit a bad one, you will get past it. Keep building that toolbox, and using it. Yes, it takes time to settle down after his behavior. We are here supporting you with showers of support and safety. Calming and comforting hugs galore.
Kate1976
Kate1976
Thanks everyone! I know I did the right thing. More than anything I think it’s triggering my fear of people. My need to self isolate. Really appreciate having this group and avoiding total isolation!
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
I can't have anybody walk behind me, it stirs my my PTSD hypervigilance too much. It's why I live alone and am much happier since I decided to.

He was drunk so he thought it was funny to keep trying to. Not funny at all. Sorry it got to you to where you called the suicide hotline, but glad you did.

It's over. You got through it. But people have to understand to respect your boundaries, and walking behind you is a totally legit one, Kate.
lilmissy7
lilmissy7
Sending you support Kate
Here with you taking deep breaths
& what’s that saying...“no good deed goes unpunished” lol I don’t entirely think that sayings Always true but it definitely fits here
(I used to be a bartender & definitely had some occurrences that would trigger my PTSD)
it’s definitely hard. Glad you reached out for support
Big hugs <3
waz
waz
drunk or not what he did was cruel. So people just don't get PTSD, but then again they may never encountered anyone suffering from it. So sad you went through this. Look after yourself and try and not make his lack of understanding or support an issue for you. Take care and big hugs if I can say that.
EvergreenDreamer
EvergreenDreamer
Triple hugs of support Kate. That must have been so triggering and setting off all your internal alarms. I am very sorry that it caused you to think about suicide again. I'm so glad you are utilizing here and the crisis chat to help yourself cope with these things. I wish you strength to continue with self care like that. much support~
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
It can be hard to be around substance abuse for sure....It was kind of you to make sure he got home safe

Sorry that it triggered your trauma..... Gentle hug.....xo
Posts You May Be Interested In
  • Community LeaderSunCloudJD

    Hello Monday

    Posted by: SunCloudJD
    Last Reply: SunCloudJD
    4
    Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
  • Sunshinegirl0228

    Dr. Appointment

    Posted by: Sunshinegirl0228
    Last Reply: Sunshinegirl0228
    3
    Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.