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This is NOT a crisis question. I'm not feeling suicidal, nor am I at present helping anyone who is. That's really why I'm asking. When I was a hospital chaplain 2001-2010, the most frequent 2 topics that came up when there was a suicidal patient were:
1. Suicide is the coward's way out
2. Suicide is an unforgivable sin
It was my job not to argue with people who felt that way--sometimes the suicidal person themselves, sometimes their loved ones. It was just my job not to let that be the end of the conversation so we could get on to addressing the underlying issue. Here among peers and friends I can say publicly, though, what I thought privately, which was:
1. Maybe it's not always about courage v. cowardice, but about pain v. pain relief
2. Maybe there is a God who is merciful in ways we don't know
I've been hoping for a chance to ask. It comes up in my Death and Dying classes I teach to nursing students at the community college. My department chair just told me I'll be teaching 3 sections of the course starting next month. So, I'm curious from our shared and unique perspective here: what do you all think?
Thanks,
Muji
1. Suicide is the coward's way out
2. Suicide is an unforgivable sin
It was my job not to argue with people who felt that way--sometimes the suicidal person themselves, sometimes their loved ones. It was just my job not to let that be the end of the conversation so we could get on to addressing the underlying issue. Here among peers and friends I can say publicly, though, what I thought privately, which was:
1. Maybe it's not always about courage v. cowardice, but about pain v. pain relief
2. Maybe there is a God who is merciful in ways we don't know
I've been hoping for a chance to ask. It comes up in my Death and Dying classes I teach to nursing students at the community college. My department chair just told me I'll be teaching 3 sections of the course starting next month. So, I'm curious from our shared and unique perspective here: what do you all think?
Thanks,
Muji
The other thing you brought to mind was the family of suicides, something arfie mentioned, too. This summer I watched the HBO series "Treme" and loved it. It's about New Orleans music and food and life after Katrina. I was so inspired I went to DC and saw Dr John, the dean of New Orleans music, in concert. In the first season, though, the character John Goodman plays commits suicide. The take on it is unique, because the story focus is not on his suicide and whether it was right or wrong. Instead, for the rest of the show's seasons it shows how it affected his wife and daughter for the years following. It does it without judging, just putting the focus on them. I might use a clip of that in class after what you, arfie, and others said about families in the aftermath.
In seminary, I did some research on the "sin" concept about suicide in Christianity. I found it is mostly rooted in the story of Judas, who betrayed Jesus for money to soldiers who seized Jesus for crucifixion. In the New Testament story, Judas goes on to commit suicide over it. So thereafter, suicides became, rightly or wrongly, equated with betrayers like Judas. My research doesn't resolve the whole issue, but it's interesting background to where the value system was coming from.
Heartfelt thanks again for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It's the hardest unit in my course to present to students, as there's grief in the room concerning students who've lost someone, or simply concerning their own struggles that the class brings to mind. You've helped me with presenting the topic gently with sensitivity and from more points of view.