Oddly, it's affected my job life more than my personal life---I've had my two best BFFs since 1984 or so, another great friend since 1988, and my hubby and I met in 1988---so we've known one another a long time---and I can handle long-term friendships okay.

Job wise? I had such (unacknowledged) issues with authority (thanks, Dad) that I ended up having to work for myself. Which was fine but it meant a lot of short-term jobs as I kept wondering why I couldn't find a "fit".

I suck at making *new* friends. Trust issues. I was doing okay I thought tlil my 2011 accident, and then allt hese people I called friends? Whoosh! Gone like the wind. ANd a couple more have vanished since the PTSD dx. *sigh* Both of those were long-term friends, too---since the 1980s.... But better to know their truth than stay in friendships where I was going to have to hide my truths, y'know? Or so I tell myself!

I think all people have the problem, though, b/c we have developmental stages in life anyway, so finding people and professions that are stable across all those different stages isn't so easy anyway. For us, it's hader but I think a lot of so-called "normals" suffer from similar issues. It may be why we see people desperate to connect on Twitter, yet reluctant to invest more of themselves. No risk, but then... no reward.... but then... and around it goes. Did that make sense? Like we're always seeking where and what and who fits....

Existentialism and I don't get along, sorry. I suffer it but I can't express it worth a shinola.

I think it's great you have friends from then:-) My hubby still has a coupel of his high school pals, and like you, he moved aorund a lot, and it's made him very reluctant to move again ever. He never "trusted" that he could "Settle" till we finally bought a house.

I cope by reminding myself that there's a certain amount of discontinuity built into life anyway, and it's okay to cope as we cope, if we harm no one or ourselves. But I must admit, it would've been nice to have a more stable job history, and not always look for "the next better thing"....

I feel for you Muji.
I have bounced around a lot in life too. I have had 3 different professions- cook, auto mechanic and now environmental engineer and I am only 43 yrs. old. I seem not able to settle down. I have gone from living in a school bus to a nice 1200 sq. ft. apartment. At times I miss the bus. It sound crazy but I am having trouble dealing with what is expected of me at this age. I didn't marry until 30 and I have no kids- not going to either. Only continuity I have is that I was a whitewater river guide for 20 yrs. It was the hobby I love the most. The friends I have are mostly from being a guide and they have been the most stable thing I have had. I think it is just hard for us to connect to things because the person we should have connected to early in life was no available to us. This has colored all our relationships since. When we start getting into a routine, we start getting that nagging feeling of being trapped- the same as we were as kids. I think this drives us to change things more than most people. We just can't be comfortable with stability because our first "stable" environment was so bad.

This week I am wondering if the open watersheds and my guitar are the only true continuities in my destiny. 34 years with my son and 33 years with my husband would be my greatest cultural continuity and...

Changed my strings today.

In truth, there has been very little continuity in my life also... Beginning with the experiences I had as a child throughout my lifetime, I have refrained from allowing people to get close to me... In my early years it was women... Now it is men...

I have not been able to maintain any semblance of employment for 14 years... Troubled relationships... So much distance from the world around me...

I stood on the other side of life's chain link fence with a no tresspassing sign on my back, facing it towards those who tried to breach my armour...

There was one constant in my life... My best friend, Vincent... He was so beautiful... Black with Green eyes... Like a panther... The love of my life...

Everytime I was on my computer, he would find a place on my desk... Every night I went to bed, he said on the pillow next to mine with his paw touching my face or my hand holding his...

Last October, I had him euthanized... My life was not and never will be the same... It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life... To this day, I cannot look at his grave, as he is buried in my backyard...

My greatest companion... My confidante... My passion... For 13 years...

Gone... And I was left dangling from a spider's web, trying to hang on to what semblance of sanity I had left in my mind...

Lila,

I know. My partner on the journey for 14 years of constancy was my tortoise shell tabby I named after an Argentine author, Mempo Giardinelli. The author got such a kick out of it that he put my cat in one of his novels! Mempo the cat was always there for me. Then he had a stroke, managed along for a year after it, and I had to have him euthenized, too. Buried not in my back yard, but in my parents' back yard.

I was happily married for 13 years before that ended, so my relationship with Mempo still stands as the longest relationship of my life by one year.

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel.

Lila, for many years my constants were my love of science/nature and my pets.... I can't imagine life without one.... My best friend as a kid was my dog, my best companion (other than Hubby) is my cat. You are not alone in your loss.

My photo album has far more pictures of my pets than of people. My best memories of childhood, too.
Gentlest hugs for you.

LeoX3 and Muji... Thank you so much for your compassion and acknowledgement of the value of our non-human companions...

When one is living behind locked doors, sometimes the love of something other than human is what can sustain us... Thank you for sharing your pain also...

It is difficult... And my heart goes to you....

Hey, I've got 4 cats at the moment, as I ended up acquiring one from my next door neighbour...and they all give me constant pleasure and comfort. I'm sorry Lila and Muji for your losses of the feline variety. I also had to have a cat put down that had been with me for 14 years, it was so very hard.

As for whether things have been constant in my life - no. when I had my mental breakdown in '87, I basically was too ill for any friends for a decade. These days, I have friends I've made over the last 8 years - 3 good friends, who've also had very troubled upbringings. and I've reconnected with a few friends from late teens.
I have been in stable part time employment for nearly 3 years - that's been fantastic. Before that, I was all over the place.
I had a therapist for 24 years, before he died - this was my saving grace through it all. I still have him in my heart.

I just wanted to say Muji and to all who replied that this post meant alot to me.

Every single response resonates with me.

Yes, for sure. Friends are hard to come by, I have one who has stuck with me through very hard times. We've had our battles but it builds stronger relationships. My ex husband is my best friend still. That's about it. I also suck at making new friends, it's not consistent at all. As Leo it's a trust issue and I don't feel like I deserve good friends at times.

Jobs, I had a steady job for 15 yrs but after that one right after another because I couldn't handle the stress. Structure has been very important to me. I think it's a good thing to have short term coping situations because every situation is different and we are constantly having to adapt.

Thanks for the post Muji ;)