Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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two posts in one day? ? ? some days i'm crazier than others, i reckon. . . a beaten crazy bitch wolf's gotta do what a beaten crazy bitch wolf's gotta do.
a thread within the weave of just deserves i've been psychopating on is the claim that one can control psychosis. "i'll let myself spiral this far and no further. i ain't THAT sick." the family members i've heard make that claim are the ones i most suspect of carrying on the family cycle of abuse. their sons and daughters add considerable fuel to the suspicion. of the others in my life i've heard make that claim, i've been grateful for my social distancing skills. just let that ship just pass on by.
in my personal recovery, i've never assumed i could control my psychosis and take those daily fearless personal inventories seriously. there is not a fiber of my being which believes i can control a psychosis, mine or anyone else's. regretably often, i don't even know when i am psychotic. denial is my strong suit. i am fine. how are you. just call me, "sheeba, queen of DeNial." i put my healing hopes in a strong therapy support network of people i can trust to let me know i'm spiraling again.
again i ask for reality checks. am i making sense?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
I’m glad you’re posting & reaching out. I wish my words were better today but yea you’re making sense to me
Sending lots of support, gentle hugs and many prayers <3
& an extra hug just because <3
still sorting. . .
yo. . . wish fairy. . . where's my cure?
I think you're totally making sense. If you are in psychosis, I hate to think what my psychosis spins ARE. I usually call my therapist in despair when that happens and book a session immediately as I have not learned how to calm myself or "talk myself off the cliff" around certain triggers. My triggers are usually medical, FAMILY, relationships and work. Any of those just seemingly go awry and I'm off to cliff diving.
My last therapist was trying to teach me somatic skills which I am still working on and learning about. She said temperature shifts were best....a hot shower, a cold shower....something to snap you out of that loop. I think that's what you are talking about. I guess I never thought of it as psychosis but I guess any disassociation where you are not connected to being present, in your body or spinning is psychosis?
Warm, gently Texas ((((HUGS))))
what your therapist is teaching as, "somatic skills" sounds an awful lot like what i learned as "tactile grounding." tactile, meaning, "sensory." using my physical senses to ground myself is, perhaps, my most used therapy tool. it works when i work it.
the va psychiatric nurse practitioner who taught me her "psychic flu" theories solidly believed that everyone experiences psychosis at least once in their lives. the anxious jitters one experiences after an accident or the grief of losing a loved one qualify as psychosis in her estimation. folks like us who have experienced excessive trauma in our lives are "psychically immunocompromised." we are far more vulnerable to psychic flu than your average bear.
this was the therapist who finally got it through my macho head to be gentle with myself and patient with the process. beating oneself for having the flu is just plain counterproductive.