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Consent

dsf95
dsf95

a facebook friend shared an analysis of a cartoon dealing with relationships and consent yesterday. 


Couldnt help but think about my issues with my ex dance teacher. Because he felt angry that I MAY have felt sexual during one tango class (all he had to go on was eye contact and hyperventilating; I do have the mitigating factors of being an incest victim and having an unexpected hormone problem after a surgery) he refused to dance with me very publicly, told several people about it outside the class, and assaulted me by kicking me in the butt/ vagina three months later.



he did not have MY consent to involve other people or to assault me. I also question whether the fact that his supervisor at the time, whose Facebook page shows she is an anti-rape activist, colored this harsh treatment of me. Doesn't that possibly give him motive to play up being a victim? the last time I saw him he was being hugged by a female coworker. Want to puke. 

Muskoka007
Muskoka007
Sounds like a sociopath. Good you are away from him. I feel I get misread a lot too, I often wonder if I have a sign over my head that reads I was sexually abused so please continue. Seriously though, I think the body language reflects something that bullies go after. Sorry you had to go through all that with your ex dance teacher
dsf95
dsf95
Thank you! Muskoka007
arfie
arfie
Mixed sexual signals are the bane of my existence. Since my sex education --starting with incest-- started before my academic education even started, I am a Pandora's Box of mixed innuendo, even here in my post-menopausal years. Do I ever get to outgrow that entire can of worms. I believe I have a better chance of learning how to be a 62 year-old debutante than understanding the subtleties of how and when I am giving off those mixed signals. Move that into my "non-traditional" engineering and science career and. . . Holy Cannoli! No, jackass, admiring your craftsmanship is NOT an offer for a blow-job. Let me get my dentures and I will bite it off for you, though.

Don't know if that has anything, whatsoever, to do with what you are sorting in your own strictly personals, but. . . Continued support while you sort your own.
dsf95
dsf95
Thank you Arfie!

At least I appreciate my husband more now.

I'm also going to stick more with West Coast swing. I visited a traditional ballroom Saturday to hear a band and started feeling panic while dancing in the normal dance frame. The swing dance frame is usually standing farther apart with a looser connection. I went back to the brewery last night and had a great time and I felt better.
dsf95
dsf95
Trying not to be sad at home after my dad's death
arfie
arfie
Whatever the flavor of swing, it will definitely keep you from dwelling on much of anything beyond the next step in the dance. Swing is the Cat's Meow. I miss dancing. Don't know how I lost my own dance passion. It just sort of wandered away while I was busy paying rent and raising kids. Keep thinking I'll get back to it, but haven't yet. So much world and so little time. . .

Glad you are still engaging. There is more than one way to tap a beat, preferably without inflicting discomfort to yourself or others.

But sooner or later, you will have to let yourself feel the emotions attached to your dad's death.
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